A Christmas to Remember

Where do I ever begin with this post?

On December 2nd Michael and I went to our first appointment with a fertility specialist. We absolutely loved this Dr. and the entire office staff. They were so incredibly kind and supportive. We left the appointment that day with so much peace and with a plan. The plan was to come in on my 3rd day of my next cycle to get some more blood work done. Then, in January we would do our first cycle of Clomid and IUI. I was not on Clomid this cycle. We were excited, but nervous too about the upcoming decisions and procedures. During the appointment, the Dr. did an ultrasound to check my uterus and ovaries. I jokingly said, "there's not a baby in there is there?" She confirmed that in fact there was not a baby in my uterus. Even though we heard that I was not pregnant once again at that appointment, we still had an overwhelming amount of peace. It wasn't the typically reaction upon finding out that yet again, this was not the month. Just peace, that's the only way I can describe it.

So, we would wait...wait for my cycle to start so I could go in for my blood work and start our "plan" of action! So we waited....and waited....and waited....and nothing....a day late....a few days late....

When you suffer from infertility, this is a tough place to be because there have been months where I've had no period at all so this was nothing too abnormal. I had a strange feeling about this time though. I didn't test until I was about a week late because the hope that I may be pregnant is more fun than testing to find out that I'm not...

Friday after work I went to the store and bought a test...the digital kind that says the words, "not pregnant" or "pregnant" on them. I couldn't even wait until Michael was home from school. I tested when I got home from the store. At first I just couldn't look at it. Finally I looked and could not believe when I saw the word "PREGNANT." I immediately began trembling and crying and praising the Lord. I kept going back to look at the test to make sure the word "not" didn't show up later! I couldn't even wait until Michael walked in the door, I had to call him. Luckily he was on his way home! A few hours after he got home I tested again and had another positive test. We cried lots of tears of joy and just began praising the faithful God who we serve who hears our prayers. He is a God of miracles! We are so thankful for all of the people who have gone to battle for us in this long journey. We pray now for a healthy baby who will grow up to love Jesus! We pray that He will use our story to give hope and comfort to others and that He can use us to minister to those who go through infertility.

Our miracle baby McCracken will make his/her debut in August! We are so blessed! For this child we have prayed! Nothing is impossible with Him! Praise Jesus!

Hope and Rest

"My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken." Psalm 62:1-2

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him." Psalm 62:5

The word for hope used in the Old Testament was painting the picture of a shepherd tending his flocks looking for water. The word referred to a reservoir of water. A reservoir...more than enough water...not just a pond or a small lake....enough....more than enough!

The word for hope used in the New Testament means constant expectation for something good! "My hope comes from Him." He is my reservoir of water...more than enough. I will wait in constant expectation for something good. Oh, Jesus, thanks for reminding me of this truth about You.

Thanksgiving and Appointment

I am sitting here typing this post from my parent's house in Ennis, Tx. Yesterday we celebrated Thanksgiving with my mom and dad, my sister, my brother, his wife, and their two beautiful kids. My sister came in from North Carolina and my brother and his family were in from Ft. Hood. I am so thankful that we were all together as a family. Since my brother was deployed over Thanksgiving last year, it has been like 2 years since we were all together. I am not only thankful that we were able to spend Thanksgiving together as a family, I am also thankful that after all my family has endured, we are physically and emotionally able to be together during the holidays. This Thanksgiving, there was no drama, which I prayed hard for! It sounds silly, but it is a huge God-thing that we had a peaceful day together. I am so thankful. I am so thankful that God is restoring relationships in my family. I am so thankful that He continues to work in my dad's life as he recovers from years of alcoholism. I am so thankful.

Wednesday is a big day for Michael and I. We will go to Reproductive Medicine Associates in San Antonio to meet Dr. Hudson for the first time. She is a reproductive endocrinologist...AKA a fertility specialist. We will have our first appointment with her because my Ob/gyn did not want to keep me on Clomid any longer. She said that she wasn't sure why I still wasn't pregnant since I did so well on the Clomid, so she wanted to send me to a specialist. I am thankful for her pro-active way of handling my situation. We will meet with Dr. Hudson and her team on Wednesday at 1:30. We are praying for wisdom and guidance as we make decisions that will affect our future family. We are full of hope and are excited to take this next step. There are definitely days that I throw my "it's not fair" and "why us?" tantrums, but the God of peace and hope just reassures me in my soul that He is in control and He is faithful, good and unchanging. He is true to His promises and He has put a desire in my heart to be a mom...He will come through. I am reading a book right now written by 2 women who struggled with infertility for years and they made the statement that "in the battle of infertility, you will win." They talk about how if you want to be parents, it will happen....it may not be the way you always thought it would happen, but you can have a family. I felt the Lord reassuring my heart as I read that. He is big enough to perform this miracle. He is big enough and His plans are perfect. Oh, Lord, help me see beyond they way I've always wanted things to be.
Once again, thank you so much for praying!

Fear

Well, it's not the month again. I go to the doctor on November 23rd to discuss next steps. This has been a tough one this month. Every month is disappointing, but for some reason this month was really emotional for me. We are needing our prayer warriors in a major way! I feel like the root of the pain is fear, which I know is sin! It's painful every month to find out I'm not pregnant again...over 24 months now of disappointment...but I think the hardest part is when I let fear creep in to my heart. The fear of the "what ifs?" What if I never am able to have kids, what if it's 5 years from now...which right now seems like if it takes that long, I'll be in a psych ward somewhere! So, if you need something specific to pray for, you can pray that we will not let fear take hold of our hearts. Pray that when we wonder "what if," we will remember that God knows and even if I never conceive, we will still praise Him.

I'm constantly reminded of His grace and love for me. I am constantly thankful for my greatest earthly blessing in Michael, who has been amazing through all of this. I am praying that I will use this time to draw closer to Him. I pray that I can be used someday to help women who go through the same thing. Oh, Lord, forgive me for fearing and not trusting. Help me see beyond the here and now.

I was able to go to Denton this weekend for a wedding of a girl I grew up with. It was so fun to spend time with good friends. I stayed with my best friend in the whole world and we stayed up way too late both nights talking and talking. It was refreshing! God is good!

Good Results

Dr.'s office called Thursday to give me my blood test results. I ovulated again this month. I have now on all 3 rounds of Clomid. My progesterone is 51, which is the highest it's been so far. This is good news once again! Pray that this is the month!

The nurse said that if I don't have a positive pregnancy test this month, my doctor does not want to keep me on Clomid. She wants to refer me to a fertility specialist. This brings about a whole new set of decisions. Pray for wisdom for Michael and I as we decide what our next steps should be. We cannot thank you all enough for your prayers! We are humbled and so grateful!

Please let me know how we can be praying for you! :)

Pictures

Here are so pics from Halloween (teenage skaters!), hanging out with the Barfields, and the Spurs game. Fun times! Check out Michael's "skinny jeans!"

Haha!

Fall Fun!

I love fall! I love the cooler weather and I love that it gets lighter earlier! I love that there are Christmas decorations in stores already and that Thanksgiving is not too far away! We have had a lot of fun already this fall!

A couple of weeks ago, we had to say good-bye to Michael's sister and her sweet family. They moved back to Houston after living in S.A. for the past year! What an amazing year we have had with them. We had so much fun this past year watching Warren's football and basketball games, playing apples-to-apples, having Warren and Grace spend the night, Thursday night get-togethers and many weekend hangouts...we have loved having them here! Julie is not just my sister-in-law, but has become one of my dearest friends. We can't wait to visit you Barfields! We love you and miss you like crazy!

Michael and I had a chance to get away last weekend for the first time in a long time. This was Michael's first Sunday to miss in like 2 years! We went to Austin and stayed at a Bed and Breakfast for the first time. Saturday night we stayed in a hotel in Austin and went to the Austin Stone on Sunday morning. It was so relaxing and refreshing. We had such a great time with each other. It was so nice just to be away and rest with all that's been going on lately.

We had a costume party last week for the youth at our church and for the young adults! Michael and I decided to dress up as "skater teenagers!" The kids really thought it was funny! Who knew I would get old enough to dress as a teenager for Halloween! (I definitely could've passed for a 14 year old!...can normally anyway!) We had a blast at both parties and are reminded constantly of how much we adore the people in our church family!

The Lord has really been working on my heart lately. I feel like He has been pulling out so many ugly things that I have had in my heart. He is bringing them to light and I don't like staring them in the face, but I'm so thankful that He loves me so much to not leave me the way I am. I so desire to be consumed by Him instead of all the other things that I allow to consume me. I'm still working on my prayer life...praying with believing...even in miracles!!! He is who He says He is, He can do what He says He can do, I am who He says I am, His word is alive and active, and I can do all things through Him....believing Him!

Trying to post pics....it's not working...I'll have to do this later! Pics coming soon!

Round 3

I'm actually not going to blog about a boxing or wrestling match! I am starting round 3 of Clomid on Saturday. This past Friday I received a call from my doctor's office that my blood work looked really great! I had ovulated this month and my progesterone was a 40, which was doubled from last month. We were sooooo excited! The nurse told me that I shouldn't need a 3rd round of Clomid. Every time Michael walked by me he touched my stomach. He was so excited! I tested on Sunday and had a negative pregnancy test. In the back of my mind, I didn't believe it! I justified it by thinking maybe it was too soon to test. Well, I'm definitely not pregnant this month. We are sad, we are grieving and hurting....BUT we know that He has great plans for us! I am convicted lately because I've been doing a lot of praying, but am I praying with belief? Am I really praying in expectation that God does hear and answer? Am I praying fully trusting and believing that He is faithful? I want to be a believing prayer warrior! I don't want to doubt! Oh Lord, in our sadness, don't let us doubt, for You are faithful!

I feel like some day I will look back at this online journal and share it with my son or daughter about our journey so I decided to start writing to him/her.

Future baby McCracken!,

I want you to know how much we want you. I want you to know that we are longing and praying on our knees for you. I can't wait for you to grow in my tummy, even if you make me throw up every single day! I can't wait to feel you move and kick. I can't wait to buy you sweet baby clothes and toys! I am so excited about giving you a name. I am so excited about teaching you about Jesus. You are going to be a miracle baby! You are going to remind us of His faithfulness and goodness and mercy. How sweet it will be to finally hear those words, "you're pregnant!" We will love you so much! We can't wait to hold you in our arms! We can't wait to meet you!

I cannot say thank you enough to our prayer warriors. We know so many of you are praying for us and we are so incredibly humbled and thankful. Next blog, pictures of something not associated with Clomid, or negative pregnancy tests.....promise! :)

Enough

Jesus is!

"The Lord is exalted over all the nations, his glory above the heavens. Who is like the Lord our God, the One who sits enthroned on high, who stoops down to look on the heavens and the earth? He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; he seats them with princes, with the princes of their people. He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children.

Praise the LORD."

Psalm 113:4-9

Clinging to the hope and promise of this Scripture in these months and days.

Disturb Us

Disturb us, Lord, when

We are too well pleased with ourselves,

When our dreams have come true

Because we have dreamed too little,

When we arrived safely

Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when

With the abundance of things we possess

We have lost our thirst

For the waters of life;

Having fallen in love with life,

We have ceased to dream of eternity

And in our efforts to build a new earth,

We have allowed our vision

Of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,

To venture on wider seas

Where storms will show your mastery;

Where losing sight of land,

We shall find the stars.

We ask You to push back

The horizons of our hopes;

And to push into the future

In strength, courage, hope, and love.

[Sir Francis Drake]

Things that Make....

My Heart Glad!

I am so behind on blogging! So, I thought I would summarize some events as of late by just bringing up a few things that have made my heart glad lately! The Lord has a way of doing this in our lives by His grace and I am so thankful! So, here are some things that He has used to really make my heart glad recently!

• Going on a cruise with Michael's mom, aunt, and sisters that was an absolute BLAST!
• The trip included laughing so hard my stomach hurt...several times! Love it!
• Coming home this week to realize my husband had started dinner for me! :)
• Being overwhelmed by the Lord's presence in worship this morning...even though there were only about 25 people there this morning. Where 2 or more are gathered....!
• Getting a phone call from my brother that he is getting promoted to Sergeant in the Army. So proud of him!
• In the midst of feeling like I'm drowning in lesson planning, God blessed me with a really great group of 3rd graders!
• Getting a phone call from my Vice Principal during the week to check on me and let me know she's praying for me. Wow.
• Going on my first round of Clomid! Praying for a miracle. September is the 2 year mark of our struggle with infertility.
• The only side effect I've experienced from Clomid is hot flashes, not bad considering all of the possible ones! Answer to specific prayer!
• Signing up to do Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University through our church. So excited!
• Spending time with sweet friends at Starbucks, a Silver Stars game, and over dinner.
• San Antonio little league finishing 4th in the little league world series
• College football season is here!
• My husband is home when I get home since he's not coaching football this year! This was a HUGE God thing for this year!

Praise You Lord for the day-to-day ways You make my heart glad. I am humbled and thankful!

Summer & Update

Ok, so I've totally dropped the ball posting on our New York trip...and I'm not making any promises!  Since then I've been on a cruise with Michael's mom, sisters, and aunt.  We had an amazing time!  I'll have to post about that too...eventually.  I'm way behind and with school starting in a few weeks, I don't know that I'll ever catch up!  I'll post pics on facebook though!  

I can't believe that we only have one full week left before going back to work.  It has been a really great summer.  I am so blessed to get to spend the summer with my hubby who is off too!

I am excited and nervous about starting the new school year.  Third grade will be a challenge for me, but I'm excited.  

In other news, I had a Dr. appointment today.  My Dr. is starting me on Clomid.  She officially told me today that I have "unexplained infertility."  Medically speaking, they cannot pinpoint what is going on with me.  They do think that I have some anovulatory cycles, meaning that some cycles I do not ovulate, but others I do.  Anyway, I am starting Clomid and praying!  I know that His will is going to be done and that all of this is on His kingdom calendar.  His timing is perfect.  I will keep you updated and am so extremely grateful for your prayers!   

The Big Apple

It has taken me forever to sit down and post about New York, so I'm going to do my best to get the trip "blogged" over the next few days!  

Day I

Our flight left San Antonio at 6:30 AM...arrived at the airport at 5.  Met Michael's parents to take us to the airport at 4:45...early!  

When we arrived in New York we went to get our bags and walked outside to catch a cab to the hotel.  We have never tried to "catch" a cab before.  There was a man standing in a suit and he asked if we needed a ride, so we said, "Yes."  He walked with us to the edge of the stre

et and said the driver was bringing a car around.  Weird....2 drivers?  Anyway, we wait and finally a black escalade, windows completely black, pulls up.  We are soooo trusting, so we got in this vehicle with these 2 men.  Michael had the route from the airport to the hotel pulled up on his phone and he was watching it carefully as we rode with these men who were taking us "fingers crossed" to the hotel!  I texted Michael as we rode and my text said, "if we get 

off course, give me the look and i'll open my door so we can jump out of the car!"  Fortunately, we didn't have to do that and later learned that these guys own a limo service.  In this eco

nomy, they are not getting much business so they decided to give rides in the escalade.  We made it to the hotel and were able to leave our bags with the front de

sk so we could head to the Yankees game.

We took the subway to Yankee stadium and arrived at the game in the 4th inning.  Yankee

stadium is gorgeous.  The field is gorgeous and the hot dogs were amazing!  :)  

The Yankees ended up losing, which was sad, but the experience was amazing.  There's nothing like a major league baseball game in the summer time!  (it helps when it's Yankee Stadium too!)  Michael was so excited and we both had a great time at the game.

After the game, we took the subway back to our hotel on Time Square and we were able to check in to our room.  The Crowne Plaza was super nice and we loved being right on Time Square.  Once we checked in, we decided to go walk around and just take everything i

n!  We were able to walk around Time Square and somewhat gain our bearings on where things were.  Time Square is amazing and pictures have never done it justice.  It is over stimulating for sure...all the lights, all the people....so much fun!  We went into the M&M store, which was HUGE and had more M&Ms one could possibly imagine!  After buying some peanut butter M&Ms we headed back out onto Time Square to try to figure out where to go for dinner.  

We were walking down the street and I spotted a restaurant called ESPN

Zone.  I immediately knew this is where we had to eat...I know, you are thinking WHY??!!  After our wedding, when we arrived at the Gaylord Texan and were starving, that is the place we ate! Since this was our anniversary trip, and I hadn't seen this restaurant anywhere else, I thought it would be fun to eat there and remember our first "married" dinner together!  The place is so cool and the view of Time Square was great!

I would totally post more pics, but I am having trouble...when I add a new one, it keeps deleting the ones I have already posted. Any tips on this would be great!  :)

Anyway, after the baseball game, our first day mostly included walking around Time Square! We were in awe!  We were really exhausted from a long day so we headed to bed and were eager to start Day II of our trip!

Joy of Summer!

I love summer!  We are having a great time off!  Last week we took a trip to Lubbock.  We hadn't been back since we moved 3 years ago...crazy, I know!  We stayed with Michael's aunt and uncle and had an amazing time hanging out with Job, Janis, Jeff, and Jennifer!  Thanks Buschmans for a great week!  :)   We also were able to meet Mailey Williams!  She is adorable.  Her mom, Melissa discipled me all through college and it was so amazing to be back in their home hanging out!  Thanks for letting me hang out with you and your family!  On Tuesday night, we were able to have dinner with some sweet friends at Buns Over Texas.  We so enjoyed getting to see Tim, Kailee, Jake, Amanda, Coby, Jennifer, and meet baby Camren!  We left Lubbock so refreshed.  We have so many sweet memories there and it was fun to revisit those memories.  

On Monday Michael and I are flying to New York!  Michael surprised me early for our 4th wedding anniversary with a trip to New York.  It has been my dream to go there!  We are sooo excited!  We know for sure we are going to a Yankees game and to see Wicked on Broadway.  Those are the only things we've bought tickets for and planned so far!  If you have any "must dos" to share with me, please do!  I know it's a huge city and we won't be able to accomplish everything in just 5 days!  Any pointers you may have would be so appreciated!  I will definitely blog about the trip when we get back (with pictures).  This is going to be a much needed get away.  I feel like I'm going on my 2nd honeymoon!  :)  

I hope everyone is enjoying their summer and trying to stay cool!  It's so hot!  

For Such a Time as This

I am in a women's Bible study with ladies from our church.  We are doing Beth Moore's study on Esther!  It is changing my life!  The Lord is so faithful and the Spirit knows exactly what we need and when we need it.  There are so many things I've learned, but last week spoke so clearly to me in the season of life I am in.  

Ephesians 3:2 tells us there is "a time to be born and a time to die."  Beth Moore states, "God cut out those exact perimeters for you and me on the kingdom calendar so that we would be positioned on earth right now."

Acts 17:26 tells us that God, "determined the times as for us and the exact places that (we) should live."

This specific part of the study spoke so clearly to my heart because it reminds me that the days of my child's life are already set on the kingdom calendar!  Our child will be born and be placed on this earth to fulfill his/her purpose because God has determined the exact times and places he or she should live.  By grace, our children will come to a saving knowledge of Christ and by grace, our children will fulfill their God-given destinies for "such a time as this" when they are on this earth.  

At the end of the day's lesson, she posts the lyrics to the Steven Curtis Chapman's song "Miracle of the Moment."  I've heard this song many times, but never really paid attention to the words. I was so encouraged by reading them...

There's only ONE who knows what's really out there waiting

In all the moments yet to be and all we need to know is HE'S OUT THERE WAITING

To Him the future's history and He has given us a treasure called RIGHT NOW

And this is the only moment we can do anything about

And if it brings you tears then taste them as they fall and let them soften your heart

And if it brings you laughter then throw your head back and let it go

YOU GOTTA LET IT GO

Listen to your heartbeat

There's a wonder in the here and now, it's right there in front of you

And I don't want you to miss THE MIRACLE OF THE MOMENT

Longing

I am longing to be a mom.  I am struggling with patience.  I know God's plan is Sovereign.  I know that in His perfect timing, we will have a baby.  I trust Him completely.  I am thankful for the time Michael and I have and I cherish him as my greatest earthly blessing.  I still struggle with the raw emotion that goes along with infertility.  I am longing deep in my soul to be a mommy.  Praying, seeking, and longing...

Change

is never easy!  I found out that I'm going to have to teach 3rd grade next year.  My first year of teaching I taught Kinder.  After that year, I thankfully moved up to first grade, which is what I've taught the past 2 years.  I LOVE teaching first grade!  I LOVE teaching reading and seeing the growth the kids make in the course of a year.  Our school currently has 5 first grade classes and 4 3rd grade classes.  Next year, we only need 4 first grade classes and they will need 5 3rd grade classes....so....that sends me up to 3rd grade.  I can get excited about all of the things I'll be able to do with 3rd graders!  I get really excited thinking about them reading big chapter books and doing literature circles and even writing workshop....and just as I get excited the dreaded word is spoken....TAKS!!!!  I am scared to death to teach a TAKS grade.  Everyone keeps telling me how horrible it is and that TAKS is all you can teach if you want good scores.  Maybe I'm naive, but I think somehow, I can still do my writer's workshop and literature circles and prepare my kids for the test.  Please tell me if I'm living in a fantasy teacher world!  Any advice would be appreciated!  Mostly, I am bummed about leaving my team.  We are so close and we plan everything together!  It's such a blessing!  I am going to third with the hopes of a spot in first opening back up the next year and I'll go back down.  My principal's words to me were, "Once you go up, you'll never go down!"  Wonder if that's true?  Guess I'll find out!

In other news...our church is currently seeking our own place.  This is so exciting!  The church has been meeting in a school cafeteria for 8 years!  It is time!  We are seeking and praying for guidance and discernment.  This is a really exciting time in the life of our small, but full of life, body!  

I can't believe I haven't updated about baby stuff since I heard some really great news.  During my last round of blood work, I ovulated!  My levels had gone from 2.4 the month before to a 15.5!!!!  This is awesome!  I ovulated!  Praise the Lord!  He is so good!  My doctor said, "call us when you miss a period and we'll do a pregnancy test!"  I wanted to jump up and down, and at the same time I wanted to say, "that's it?"  "After alllll of the tests- that's it?"  I'm reading a book that's called Taking Charge of Your Fertility.  It's been really educational and I'm learning alot about my body and how all of this stuff works!  It's making God so much bigger to me because of all of the details about our bodies and conceiving.  It is amazing!  He is amazing!  What a perfect design!  Anyway, so....no clomid or fertility treatments yet.  If I'm not pregnant in a few months then I'll call back and see if we can do something to help regulate my ovluation...but it's a HUGE praise that I actually did!  Thank you so much to those of you who have been praying!

I'll end the post by telling you some cool news!  Michael and I were asked by a friend of mine who works at the capitol in Austin to sing Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone) at a ceremony for fallen soldiers' families.  The ceremony is at the capitol and will be in front of the Senate, House, Governor....and precious families of soldiers from Texas who have lost their lives in the last year fighting in the war on terrorism.  We are humbled and honored to be able to do this! We are also veeerrryyy nervous!  It's on May 30th.  We are praying now that the words to this song will speak truth about our precious Savior and minister to those who hear.  

That's it for now!  Hope you are all doing well!  Until next time.....(no telling when!)

Home Improvement

Summer is quickly approaching...34 days of school left to be exact!  (but who's counting??)

After we moved in our house, I was super excited at first to get everything decorated and set up!  I did some stuff, but then busyness took over and I've let house stuff sit on the back burner for too long!  This summer I want to work on the house more.  We still have a spare room that is painted bright green with a bright green stripe around the walls because it was the previous owners' baby room...still needs to be painted!

I am not the greatest at decorating, choosing colors, knowing the "rules" of matching rooms with bathrooms in the house...or gardening.  So, I'm asking for your help!  Here are a few questions!  Feel free to respond to all of these or just a few!  I know some of you have skill in this area!

1.  Our spare bathroom is in between our two spare rooms.  Do the colors in this bathroom need to coordinate with the bedding in the spare bedroom? 

2.  What are some good stores with reasonable home decor prices?  I know about Kirklands and Home Goods...any others you like?  

3.  What do you do with a big blank wall?  What are some ideas for things to hang on a huge wall?  

4.  If our flower beds already have a liner to keep weeds out, do we just need to buy top soil to re-do them?  

5.  What kinds of flowers are good to grow in a flower bed that will make it through summer?

These might seem silly, but any help is definitely appreciated!  :)  Let the home projects begin!

Much Needed Spring Break!

Although I love my job, I have to say the best parts are June, July, August, 2 weeks at Christmas, 1 week for Thanksgiving and Spring Break!  This year we were able to go to Pagosa Springs, Colorado.  We stayed in Pagosa Springs and we skied Wolf Creek.  4 friends made the 15 hour trek with us in a rented mini van....awesome!  The drive was long, but well worth it!  

The whole group at the top of the mountain!

We stayed with some friends of our friend Dave who went with us.  The house we stayed in was amazing and the owners were amazing people who I feel blessed to have gotten to know a little bit.  Thank you so much Chris, Rachel, Sierra, and Cedar!  You made our trip so wonderful!

We skied for 3 days and it was a blast.  Michael snowboarded for the first time ever.  He did take some pretty rough falls, but ended up boarding blues most of the time.  I ventured out and skied my first black ever!  It was scary, but so much fun!  I am horrible at sports, especially ones that involve eye-hand coordination.  For some reason, when long things are attached to

 my feet, it feels natural!  I love to water ski and snow ski!  

      I still cannot figure out picture layout in this thing!  Sorry!

It was amazing to see the view from the top of the mountain.  I was thinking as I looked at the mountains and the beautiful snow how amazing it is that those mountains are there to glorify God. They were created to give Him glory and they cry out praises to Him in all of their beauty!All of this to say, Spring Break was great!  We feel so blessed to have this time off in March to recoop!  We feel extremely blessed to have it off together!  What a good thing the Lord has done for us!  

Happenings...

Some things that have been happening lately...

• I went this past weekend to Michael's cousin's bachelorette weekend.  It was so fun and such a blessing to be with his sweet aunt and cousins.  I am so blessed to be part of this family!
• My dad went on a Precept ministries men's retreat this past weekend.  The theme of the weekend was breaking strongholds of the past.  Mom called Sunday to say that he stood up in front of the church to talk about what the Lord is doing in his life.  He told them that he struggles with alcoholism and needs their help.  Praise God, this is a HUGE answer to prayer.
• Shared another valentine's day with the love of my life!  We went to dinner reeeaaalllly early, like at 4:30 then went to set up church.  It was a sweet time because I was able to reflect on Michael, his passion for me and his passion for ministry.  I love his heart and am so blessed to be his bride!
• Michael and I had a major heart to heart about all the baby stuff.  It can be overwhelming!  We talked about how we don't want to look back at this time in our marriage and have memories of being miserable because we couldn't have kids.  We want to enjoy each other and be used affectively in ministry.  We know that if we allow ourselves to be consumed by our sadness, we will become inaffective.  After this conversation, the peace that came over me has been indescribable.
• About a week after our conversation I was ironically standing in Babies R Us with my friend Amber who is 5 months pregnant.  We had gone to buy some boy clothes for her sweet baby on the way!  While I was there my phone rang and I answered.  It was my doctor's office calling with the results of some blood work I had to have done.  The first question the nurse asked was, "did you even have a cycle last month?"  I knew that since they were checking for ovulation, this was not a good question...because yes, I had.  She told me that progesterone levels following ovulation will be on average about a 10.  Mine was 2.6.  Ok, so this is low.  This is not great news.  That peace I was talking about....overwhelming peace....that passes all understanding....guarding my heart!  Amazing!  I was in Babies R Us hearing that I don't ovulate and I had peace.  Thank you Jesus for Your grace and Your overwhelming peace!  I am going through one more round of blood work this month and then we will talk about clomid.  
• Truly thank you to those who are praying.  We know that His timing is perfect.  We know we will have a sweet baby that is ours someday.  Pray specifically for continued peace over our thoughts and hearts.  Pray for my body, that a miracle would occur.  Pray for patience.  Pray that we are used in this situation for His glory!  We love you and we know that we have prayer warriors!  We are forever grateful and so overwhelmed by Him in these days!

"I want to sit at Your feet, drink from the cup in Your hand, lay back against You and breathe, fill Your heartbeat.  This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand.  I melt in Your peace, it's overwhelming!"  (The More I Seek You by: Kari Jobe)

R & R

My brother is home for a few weeks from Iraq for his R&R.  This past weekend I went to Ennis, to my parents so I could see him.  He looks great!  I am so proud of him.  I was able to see some pictures from his tour.  His platoon is doing some really great things over there to help the Iraqi people and prevent future attacks.  I am thankful for my brother and the men and women he serves with every day.  

I not only was able to see him, but his sweet family.  Chasten is 2 and Claire is 8 months.  She started walking at 7 months so she's walking like a pro now!  They are soooo cute!  I love being an aunt!  Here are some pics!  Chasten had a book of shapes and was naming the pictures.  He would say, "that's a star!"  "You like that star?"  It was adorable!  When he came to the page with a balloon on it, he said, "It's a party!"  "You like that party?"  We laughed and made him do it over and over again!  Soooooo adorable!

I can't upload my videos for some reason!  Maybe I'll figure it out later!  

In other news, I went in a few weeks ago for some blood work.  I have more scheduled for next Friday, February 6th.  This blood work is checking my hormone levels.  I will keep you updated on the results!  We continue to seek Him on this journey and this past month when I learned that once again I wasn't pregnant, I was overwhelmed with peace.  I am so grateful for His plan and His provision upon our lives!  Thank you for praying!  We are so thankful!

The Place to Be....

was our house, tonight...for an NFL football game that we were ASKED to record so the guys could come over to watch it after they played their own game of football!  Well...did you know that if you keep recorded things on your DVR it runs out of space???  Who knew???  Not me apparently...in my attempts to be super wife I was so proud of the fact that I even remembered to record the game at all.  So, we had a house full of guys and a few girls, snacks, pizza....and only half of a football game!  OOPS!  I learned my lesson and we have proceeded to delete some things off of our DVR list!  Some lessons are only learned the hard way!

So after we watched the first half, did they stay over for the good conversation?  NO....they left to go to another person's house who had the game recorded.  Michael stayed here so that was nice!  ;)...and I get to go to bed earlier!  Haha!

Some highlights of our Christmas/New Years/and 2009 so far...

*Christmas was wonderful.  My parents had a great visit and we enjoyed their company!  They gave me their China from their own wedding for Christmas.  This is soooo special!

*We traveled to Dallas for the Cotton Bowl and aside from the outcome, we had a great time!  We loved staying with our sweet friends George and Mandy.  We were able to see some precious college friends!  It was a blast!

*Tyson and Melissa came to San Antonio and visited our house!  I love that family!

*Michael's parents got us a gift certificate to a bed and breakfast.  We can't wait to use it!  

*I saw Bride Wars, which I think is a super cute chick flick...Warning:  do not take your guy or any guy with you to see this!  They will be sighing and grumbling the whole time!  I didn't take Michael, but I can only imagine his attitude if he had to sit through that movie!  Girls...go see it for sure!  Thanks for the invite Megan!  

*We were in bed at 11 on New Year's...but we celebrated with New York!  

*One of my goals this year is to memorize a verse a week!  I have been really lazy about scripture memory.  Thankfully, I have the help of 2 girlfriends...we are in this together!

*My brother is somewhere between Iraq and the US as I type this.  He's coming home for his R&R!  I am so proud of him and so thankful for his sacrifice for our country!

It's going to be a great year!!!