Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Round 3

I'm actually not going to blog about a boxing or wrestling match! I am starting round 3 of Clomid on Saturday. This past Friday I received a call from my doctor's office that my blood work looked really great! I had ovulated this month and my progesterone was a 40, which was doubled from last month. We were sooooo excited! The nurse told me that I shouldn't need a 3rd round of Clomid. Every time Michael walked by me he touched my stomach. He was so excited! I tested on Sunday and had a negative pregnancy test. In the back of my mind, I didn't believe it! I justified it by thinking maybe it was too soon to test. Well, I'm definitely not pregnant this month. We are sad, we are grieving and hurting....BUT we know that He has great plans for us! I am convicted lately because I've been doing a lot of praying, but am I praying with belief? Am I really praying in expectation that God does hear and answer? Am I praying fully trusting and believing that He is faithful? I want to be a believing prayer warrior! I don't want to doubt! Oh Lord, in our sadness, don't let us doubt, for You are faithful!

I feel like some day I will look back at this online journal and share it with my son or daughter about our journey so I decided to start writing to him/her.

Future baby McCracken!,
I want you to know how much we want you. I want you to know that we are longing and praying on our knees for you. I can't wait for you to grow in my tummy, even if you make me throw up every single day! I can't wait to feel you move and kick. I can't wait to buy you sweet baby clothes and toys! I am so excited about giving you a name. I am so excited about teaching you about Jesus. You are going to be a miracle baby! You are going to remind us of His faithfulness and goodness and mercy. How sweet it will be to finally hear those words, "you're pregnant!" We will love you so much! We can't wait to hold you in our arms! We can't wait to meet you!

I cannot say thank you enough to our prayer warriors. We know so many of you are praying for us and we are so incredibly humbled and thankful. Next blog, pictures of something not associated with Clomid, or negative pregnancy tests.....promise! :)

5 comments:

Jennifer-Colley said...

Mel, totally remember being exactly where you are right now! I remember thinking "this is my last month of Clomid"...what will I do if it doesnt happen this month? I remember thinking about how excited I was going to be when it finally said PREGNANT!! I cannot wait for you to experience that day and time when it does! God is faithful! Just know that Clomid or not, when its God's perfect timing, you will be a mommy to a sweet baby! It came for me the month after my last Clomid round I am praying real hard for you this month! It is going to be so neat for you to get to share all this with your child someday! I cannot wait for the day when Camren is old enough to understand how much he was prayed for by his family and friends!

Love you!

Darin & Misty Ralphs said...

Your blog brought tears to my eyes. You are strong Mel. Hang in there. It will happen in HIS time.

Anonymous said...

Dear friends,
Lex & I don't know what you are going through exactly but we do know the pains of wanting, praying, praying some more, and waiting. And for that reason I offer my encouragement and want you to know we hurt with you. As I read your post I cried tears of sadness along with you. Joy cometh in the morning though & I encourage you to keep praying with belief and not sole desperation. Stay focused on Him. His grace is sufficient and His power is made perfect in your weakness. We mourn with you now and look forward to the day of rejoicing when we read that you guys are pregnant.

Much love,
Dooleys

Melissa said...

Ok sweet little sister, still crying, still praying, and still believing God. I can't wait for the day!!!

Ingram Gang said...

This morning I read Psalm 130. It was a beautiful picture of full hope in the Lord. I love where talks about waiting for the Lord as expectantly as watchmen waited for the morning. I could just picture men positioned around a city in complete darkness feeling so relieved as the light of the sun begin to first peek over the horizon and the relief that this must have brought to their burdened position. It made me think of my expectations of the Lord. Do I wait on him with so much hope that I am willing to sit through a season of complete darkness and uncertainty in order to see his first glimpse of light?
When I read your post, of course this came to my mind. Not that words affirm anything more than what the Lord has told your heart, but know that his victory WILL come. You are a watchman, waiting on the Lord. He is faithful to those who hope in him! Keep hoping!
Much love and prayers!!!