The McCrackens

Heart's Desire

2011-12-02T20:33:00.001-08:00

I am a teacher. I wanted to be a teacher for as long as I can remember. I love my job. I have put a lot of effort into what I do. I have stayed too late and brought too much home. I have shed tears over students. I have been doing what I felt like I was meant to do for 6 years....

and then God blessed me with a miracle baby who needs his mommy and God entrusted us with His church...to lead...and shepard...

God changes the heart. He calls. He commands. He requires obedience. As Michael has taken the role of lead pastor of a young church plant, my role has changed. I had no idea how much it would change as a pastor's wife. I had no idea that all of a sudden, my heart would be burdened, not by first graders, but by women in the church. My heart would yearn for ladies to become disciples. My heart aches for women who are hurting within their marriages. God is making it clearer and clearer that I am to partner full time with Michael next year. I am to be available for whatever...

Obedience is hard. Obedience means faith. Faith that brings about questions....faith that brings about fear that constantly has to be repented of... Faith that says, "If you are calling, Lord, then Yes, I will obey."

So many questions, so many what-ifs, so many financial obstacles....He's calling though...I know He is...and I know it's going to require obedience. So, my heart's desire is to get to stay home next year and not go back to teaching (I NEVER thought I would say that)! My heart's desire is to be able to serve alongside my husband and serve him as he leads ARCC. My heart's desire is to be home with my son to teach him and nurture him. My heart's desire is to disciple...to have ladies in my home to love and encourage. God is so faithful. Praying for bigger faith through these worldly eyes....just wanting to fix them on Jesus...just wanting to obey.... but a little scared of this heart's desires.

1st Birthday....Help!

2011-07-31T18:40:00.000-07:00

Fellow moms: what are some fun activity ideas for a first birthday party? We are having Tatum's party at our house and our house is small. It is hot outside so I am trying to come up with some indoor activities. Let me know of any that you did or have seen done that worked well!

I am already planning to do a craft table where the kids decorate a paper necktie (we are doing a "little man" themed party).

I'm open to any and all suggestions! :)

Alamo Ranch Community Church

2011-06-24T12:40:00.000-07:00

In January, the 16th to be exact, we launched a church in Northwest San Antonio. When we moved to San Antonio we jumped right in to serve alongside Michael's dad at Vineyard Hills Church. Michael became the worship leader and we were on leadership. We were happy to serve where there was a need. Michael was called to preach when we were in college and knew that someday he would have that opportunity. VH ran about 30 people on a Sunday and we were kind-of at a place where we stopped growing. We were at this place for a few years even. We (the leadership) all felt as if God might be calling us to do something else. We began to pray. Michael was a middle school math teacher in an area of San Antonio where there is a tremendous amount of growth. On his drive to work each day, he noticed how few churches there were in this part of SA. He began to tell me that he thought God may be calling us to re-plant VH in this particular area. During this time, Michael's dad felt like it was time to hand over the preaching to Michael, so in October he took on the preaching full time at VH.

Michael could not escape the call he felt in his heart to Northwest San Antonio (specifically the Alamo Ranch area). We all began praying and we met with all of the people of VH to ask if they would be willing to go with us if we re-planted. (This new area is quite a drive for a lot of them) All of our members at VH said they would go! So it began, the praying and planning...

January 16th was the launch Sunday for Alamo Ranch Community Church. We are meeting in an elementary school in the AR neighborhood. We were so excited (but nervous at the same time). As people kept coming in the doors that Sunday, we felt such a comfirmation from the Lord that Michael had been obedient to the call west! Ever since that Sunday, we have averaged about 135 people to love on and minister to. We hear so many people say that they were waiting and praying for a church in their area.

So, here we were, 135 people to minister to.....and a pastor/worship leader who also taught middle school math! Michael and I began to pray that God would open the door for him to be able to resign his position as a math teacher so he could pastor full time in the fall. A few months before school got out for summer, Michael turned in his resignation letter to the school district. We are so excited! The time he was having to devote to studying the word and meeting iwth people after school hours, did not allow us to have family time. We are so thankful that God has given us the go on him pastoring full time. We aren't 100% on the finances as a church to pay him salary, but we are trusting and praying! Our elders have gone to our people to ask them to pray about giving over and above so their pastor can go on full time. We know God is able and we feel like this was the right step of obedience for our family.

We are so humbled for the opportunity to serve the Alamo Ranch community and beyond. I am thankful for a husband who leads us in faith and obedience. I am confident that the Lord will provide.

10 Months

2011-06-20T18:25:00.001-07:00

We are still here! Tatum is 10 months old today! I never knew what people meant by "time flies" and "they grow up so fast" until now! Holy cow! We are 2 months away from having a one year old in the McCracken house. It is unbelievable!

When Tatum went to the Dr. for his 9 month checkup he weighed 22 pounds. I am sure by now he is 25! He was in the 75% for his weight and height and 90% for his head. We have a big boy on our hands!

I am absolutely loving being home with him for the summer. He is so much fun. At 10 months he is pointing, crawling super fast, pulling up on everything, walking along furniture, standing on his own for a few seconds at a time, babbling a lot, eating cheerios and lots of puffs... and a lot of other fun things! He loves to go to the pool and he loves to be outside. Tatum means bringer of joy and he is certainly living up to his name! We are so blessed!

Mother's Day

2011-05-07T19:28:00.000-07:00

So tomorrow is my very first mother's day. I am overjoyed as I type that sentence and as I sit here thinking of my beautiful and healthy 8 month old sleeping in the next room. I am overwhelmed by the faithfulness of the Lord and His grace upon my life.

In my joy, I am also heavy-hearted. My heart is heavy for those I know who want so badly to be moms and haven't been able to have children. My heart is so heavy. I used to dread Mother's Day. It used to be a super emotional day and selfishly I used to wish we could just pretend like it wasn't mother's day even though I wanted to honor my own mom.

So, tomorrow, I am celebrating Jesus's power to answer our hearts' cries for our own child. I am celebrating my mom, who has endured so much in her life and still presses on. I am celebrating that God answers prayers....and I will be praying without ceasing for my friends who are hurting so badly on their infertility journeys. Oh, Jesus, be near to my precious friends who want the blessing of children. Father, open their wombs and heal their bodies. Father give them peace in You and satisfy their souls with your presence. Be glorified in their stories and in ours!

Half a Year

2011-02-21T18:37:00.001-08:00

I cannot believe that Tatum is 6 months old! I keep saying, "that's half a year!!!" Here are his current stats!

26 inches long
17.15 pounds
50th percentile for weight and height
90th percentile for head (the Dr. said his brain is still growing) His body has to catch up with this head! :)

Tatum is healthy and happy! He has started eating veggies, which he is not a fan of...must get this from daddy! He makes the funniest faces when he's eating veggies, that is when I can get him to open his mouth!

We are still working on those naps. If you have any pointers on nap schedules, I am all ears! He is sleeping 11-12 hours each night which is amazing.

We love our "bringer of joy" and are continuously humbled by the grace the Lord pours out over our lives. Happy 6 months sweet baby boy!

Real

2011-02-07T18:48:00.000-08:00

So, I've debated over posting this for some time now...but tonight Tatum is sleeping and Michael is at a meeting....and I can't stop thinking about it. I am going to be pretty raw here because I have to. I'm not even sure who will read, I just need to journal what is going on in my heart and has been for a while.

I gave my life to Christ when I was 9 years old. In that moment, I was saved by grace, through faith. Following my decision to follow Christ I found myself getting very wrapped up in the do's and don'ts of life (legalism). I had some things happening in my family that were pretty tough and wanted to make sure our "image" at church was not hurt. I did everything in my own power to make sure everyone thought I had it all together. I wanted my reputation to be the "good Christian" girl. I really struggled because in my heart, I wanted to passionately desire Christ, but all I could find myself doing was checking things off the list.

Fast forward to college. God led me to Texas Tech and really got ahold of my heart. I learned what it meant to be a disciple of Christ. I had amazing women in my life like Janis and Melissa who discipled me. I had incredible roommates who walked with Christ in front of me. I learned. I grew. I felt passionate in my love for Christ. I felt hungry. I am humbled that God would even, in His grace, place such incredible people in my life to spur me on and challenge me....people who weren't afraid to ask me tough questions. In all the struggles I shared, I don't even know that I ever came to a place of confessing and admitting that I really struggle to be completely "real."

So why do I share this? I have had an excessively long dry season in my walk with the Lord. I have let the enemy completely convince me that if I read the Word, it's just me trying to check it off the list and if that's the motive then I just shouldn't do it. What a lie! I am tired of having conviction and not acting on it. I am tired of seeing Michael in the Word every day and just thinking, "must be nice that he has time for that." I have let the enemy convince me that I don't have time and if I don't have enough time, I might as well just not get in the Word. In the past 5 months I have become a mom and a pastor's wife. These are both areas where my struggle to be totally real will be even harder.

So, in all of this rambling...what is my point? I want to be real. Transparent. I desire to know Christ. I desire to study His Word. I will not let the enemy have victory over me in this area. So, here it is, real me...admitting that I have kind of stunk for a while. I am don't want to be dry. I feel like I don't even know where to start...but I know I have to start somewhere...

5 Months

2011-01-29T18:56:00.000-08:00

It's so crazy how much life can change so quickly! Our little man was 5 months old on January 20th and I can't even remember what life was like without him! We are so blessed by this miracle baby and just can't get enough of those chunky cheeks!

Our sweet Tatum,

Your name means "bringer of joy" and how true that is for your life. Your life on this earth already brings so much glory to God.

You are officially a PK (preacher's kid)! You would be so proud of your daddy. He is an amazing communicator of the Word. I can't wait for you to hear him preach some day. As for now, you are holding down the fort in the nursery of Alamo Ranch Community Church. There have been more kids in the nursery and we are praying that they will become your best buds!

You have started to sit up on your own for a few seconds at a time! You start to lean to the side or forward after a few seconds. You want to reach for everything and are starting to show a little bit of a strong will! Nana says you always want the remote control and you get mad when she takes it away! You have started to say "bah" and "dah," which we love to hear!

You have a very high pitched squealy cry when you are sleepy and you rub your eyes a lot. For some reason though you will only nap for about 45 minutes at a time. We think you are already afraid you are going to miss something...your daddy says that means you are just like me! You are constantly looking around to check out everything around you.

You have started soaking your bibs within a few hours. We are pretty sure you'll be getting a tooth soon! You like so sleep on your tummy and it makes you mad when you roll on your back during the night. We love to go in your room after you've gone to bed to see you sleeping with your little bottom in the air! My favorite thing is to hear you waking up in the mornings. You wake up happy and just talk and talk in your crib. I love walking in to your room to say good morning! You always greet me with a huge grin!

When daddy says your prayers at night, you grin at the sound of his voice. You are always reaching out and trying to grab daddy's nose while he's praying. We laugh and we praise Jesus for laughter.

Tatum, you have only been in our arms for 5 months and we can't imagine life without you sweet boy! You are a constant reminder of the love of Jesus and of His grace upon our lives. We love you sweet boy! Happy 5 months!

Love,

Mommy

Life with the Little Man

2011-01-12T17:39:00.000-08:00

I am constantly surprised at the fact that so much time goes by between each of my blogs. I really thought once Tatum was born I would blog all the time on all of the events of his little life. (not sure why I thought I would have time!) I am sad that I haven't documented each month better. So, I want to be a better blogger!

It is so hard to believe that our miracle boy who we prayed for for so long is almost 5 months old! December 18th marked the one year anniversary of the day I found out that I was pregnant! Time truly flies! Some things about our sweet Tatum in his 4th month of life:

He is eating rice cereal and oatmeal. He leans forward with his mouth wide open in anticipation of the next bite!
He rolls from stomach to back and back to stomach. This is all fun until it's bed time! He likes to sleep on his tummy and when he rolls onto his back he gets really mad, resulting in a screaming baby in the middle of the night!
He is sleeping from about 7:30 pm to 5 am. We are hoping that 5 am wake time will get later soon!
He is a drool king!
He grabs at anything and everything. If he happens to hold on to something it goes directly to his mouth!
He LOVES his daddy! Michael can just look at him and that boy lights up with a huge grin! When Michael is in the room Tatum just follows him with his eyes everywhere he goes.
He loves to take baths and splashes like a crazy man.
He loves his wubbanub monkey paci.
A book I was reading about sleep says to have a "key phrase" when putting baby down to sleep. Mine is, "mommy loves you, daddy loves you, but Jesus loves you more!"
He laughs out loud but the things that make him laugh can never be duplicated.
Tatum loves his Jumperoo that he got for Christmas.
He furrows his brow for his really "serious" look!
When we pray with Tatum before bed, every night Michael prays for his salvation, his friends, and his future wife.

So, there you have it! Tatum James in his 4th month of life. We are thankful and humbled. I will say that being at work has been harder than I expected. I always thought it would be easy for me to work and be a mom. It's overwhelming. Some days I feel like I stink at everything...teaching, being a wife, and being a mom. I have to give this up constantly. I will also say that I feel like I am doing what I am supposed to do right now for my family. We are so blessed to have Michael's mom keep Tatum! She comes to our house every day. When I get home, my laundry is done and my house cleaned. We are so blessed. I love knowing Tatum is spending his days one-on-one with his precious Nana.

This Sunday, January 16th, we are launching Alamo Ranch Community Church. We are so excited! God has called us to the West side of San Antonio where there is a TON of growth and there aren't many churches. Michael is the lead pastor of ARCC. We are praying for growth. We are praying to reach this community for Christ. We are trusting God. We have taken a step of faith. We are trusting God.

I have been inspired like never before to blog more, to journal our lives, to share about the Jesus we love and want to be just like...

The Birth Story...Finally

2010-11-01T15:59:00.000-07:00

Ok, so 2 months later, I am just now sitting down to type this out! Here is the story of the day we witnessed a miracle!

I went to the doctor on August 19th, one day after my due date. The doctor hooked me up to a monitor to discover that I was ha

ving some contractions, I just didn't know. I hadn't dilated at all yet but Tatum was measuring 9 lbs 2 oz on the ultrasound! Dr. King told us that we could come in that evening to start the induction process. She also said we could wait to see if I go into labor on my own in the next week. She told us that if we induce, my chances of c-section would increase. She also said if we waited to see if I would go into labor on my own, Tatum would just get bigger...which would also increase my chances of a c-section. She left Michael and I alone so we could make the decision. We decided to go ahead and go in that afternoon to start the induction process.

After the appointment, I went back up

to school to finish preparing my room for Meet the Teacher that my sub would have to take care of that afternoon! Michael came home to clean up a little and finish packing our bags. We checked in to the hospital at 4:30 PM on August 19th. Dr. King gave me something to soften my cer.vix, they started my IV and we just chilled in our hospital room for the evening and night! The next morning, they started the pitocin about 6 AM. Dr. King came in to break my water around 9 that morning. Once she broke my water the contractions started coming on really strong. At one point they had to slow down the pitocin because I wasn't getting any time in between contractions. Each time Dr. King came in to check me I had dilated another centimeter. I did end up getting my epidural when I was 4 cm. By 5 PM I had dilated to 9 centimeters! Dr. King told us it would be a few more hours and I'd be ready to push. A few hours later, I was still 9 cm. They ended up puttingme on oxygen because Tatum's heart rate was dropping. They monitored Tatum and me closely for about 45 more minutes and then Dr. King made the call to do the c-section. Michael got all dress

ed for the OR and I was wheeled into the OR. At 8:05 PM I heard the amazing cry of our precious miracle baby. As soon as he came out all I heard in the OR were the doctors and nurses going crazy over how big he was. Dr. King was sure he was 9 lbs. He ended up weighing 8 lbs 12 oz. He was 21 5/8 inches long. I was in recovery for a little over an hour.

I finally got to hold our sweet boy at about 11:45 PM that night. It was all so surreal. My parents were at the hospital, Michael's parents, and our friends Jon Paul& Crystal. In these moments I had NO IDEA of how radically my life would be changed in the coming weeks!

Next blog will be about the first week of little man's life and the first week of being a mom!

Our Miracle, Baby Tatum

2010-09-01T13:24:00.001-07:00

Meals Schmeals....

2010-08-08T15:59:00.000-07:00

I'm having trouble planning meals for this upcoming week....

If you have a recipe you would be willing to share I'm all ears! (or eyes I guess since I'll be reading it!)

Thanks! :)

All My Bags are Packed....

2010-08-03T18:41:00.000-07:00

I'm ready to go....kind of!

I would love to know your hospital "must-haves" that you took or didn't take and wish you had when you were at the hospital to have your baby!

My bag is packed for the most part, but I would love to know what you took that you couldn't have done without!

My due date is 2 weeks from tomorrow! I am getting so incredibly excited to meet our baby boy! The doctor did tell me at my last appointment that she predicts I am going to go over my due date which made me a little sad. I know that God is in control and He already knows Tatum's birthday. So, if we wait, we wait. If you have time, let me know what I need in that hospital bag!

It's Been A While...

2010-07-21T15:58:00.000-07:00

Somewhere between finding out we were having a boy and now, at 8 months pregnant, I have dropped blogging. I can't really even think of a good reason why. As I sit here now typing this, Michael is in Haiti. He has been gone since Thursday and will get home on Saturday. I miss him like crazy, but am so excited about what God is going in and through him over there. There is a team of 8 from our church building shelters for the Haitian people. I can't wait to hear all of his stories!

I think it is still surreal to me, even though I am clearly 36 weeks pregnant in so many ways, that we are having a baby! I am just still in awe of this miracle baby!

Here are some things that I want to remember about this pregnancy and things that I am so thankful for (some in a weird way!)...

1. I have had an intense sweet tooth during pregnancy, which is soooo not me! I would always pass up dessert before and now....well....I can't resist the sweets!

2. I have put on an excessive amount of weight...including an 8 pound weight gain between 2 week doctor appointments!

3. Maternity clothes that looked like they would never fit in the beginning are put away because I have now outgrown them!

4. Tatum is super active! We love to just watch my belly move. Sometimes I wonder if there really is only 1 baby in there because I can't figure out his acrobatics!

5. I haven't been able to wear my wedding rings in a really long time and can't wait to wear them again!

6. We have had so much fun getting Tatum's room ready and putting together his swing, bouncy, pack and play, and stroller!

7. Baby items require a lot of batteries!

8. Baby items take up a lot of space. I feel like we are outgrowing our house quickly!

9. I am measuring a cm big. The doctor says this could be a big baby!

10. I am a little scared and anxious about the "unknown" that is labor and delivery.

11. Walking 30 minutes a day is hard...really hard!

12. My hands and feet/ankles like to swell a lot!

13. I love the smell of Dreft and have had a lot of fun washing all of Tatum's clothes.

14. Tatum has a ton of clothes! Maybe more than his mommy and daddy! :)

15. God is preparing me for less sleep as sleep is hard these days because of discomfort.

We are so thankful, overwhelmed, humbled, blessed....I could go on and on. I can't wait to post pictures of our sweet little man! That will be a surreal day for me because I honestly wasn't sure when or if I would get to blog posting pictures of my own baby! God is so good!

We're having a.....

2010-03-23T19:51:00.000-07:00

baby BOY!!!!!!

We could not be more excited. After our appointment we went straight to Babies R Us to purchase the first baby outfit! :) It was so much fun! His name is going to be Tatum James McCracken! I want to call him Tate!

I can't wait to tell this sweet baby boy how many people prayed for his little life. I cannot wait to tell him about God's faithfulness and grace upon us to bless us with him. What a precious gift.

Thank you for your prayers. Thank you for all of your encouragement these past few years. We feel so blessed and can't wait to meet our miracle baby boy! :)

Baby Poll!

2010-03-16T14:46:00.000-07:00

Ok, a week from today we find out if our sweet baby is a boy or a girl! And to answer the questions of many...no, I have no feeling one way or the other! I have no idea! :) I want to see what you all think! Leave me a comment to say if you think baby McCracken is a boy or a girl! I'll make sure to let you know as soon as we find out next Tuesday! We can hardly wait!

Also, if you have "must haves" that we need to register for, let me know that too! Thanks!

Hello Again Blog World

2010-02-20T18:46:00.000-08:00

Wow, it has been so long since I've posted! I tend to do that and then my posts end up being waaayyyy to0 long...so I'll try to just include some highlights about pregnancy and baby! I still can't believe that I get to blog about having a baby! It's so amazing!

Pregnancy is so much fun, even when I'm puking!
Oatmeal is not my friend anymore!
My gag reflex is really bad!
I gained 5 pounds between Dr. appointments. (too much chick-fil-a)
I loved chick-fil-a before, but now, I LOVE chick-fil-a! This is not good considering I should be eating healthy. At least the fries still have the skin on them! :)
We find out if we are having a boy or girl on March 23rd...if baby is cooperating!
I have a baby bump. (I'll put pics up soon)
Michael's mom is going to keep the baby next year....such a blessing!
I still find myself tearing up when I look at baby stuff or put on maternity jeans...just in awe of this miracle!
I am up for suggestions on baby items that you have used and found helpful! (it's overwhelming with all of the stuff that's out there now)
Michael is already a great dad! He loves to rub the belly and talk to his little one. He even got a birthday card for me from our little peanut! (He's just a little excited!)

Thank you Jesus for this baby inside of me!

A Christmas to Remember

2009-12-26T10:06:00.000-08:00

Where do I ever begin with this post?

On December 2nd Michael and I went to our first appointment with a fertility specialist. We absolutely loved this Dr. and the entire office staff. They were so incredibly kind and supportive. We left the appointment that day with so much peace and with a plan. The plan was to come in on my 3rd day of my next cycle to get some more blood work done. Then, in January we would do our first cycle of Clomid and IUI. I was not on Clomid this cycle. We were excited, but nervous too about the upcoming decisions and procedures. During the appointment, the Dr. did an ultrasound to check my uterus and ovaries. I jokingly said, "there's not a baby in there is there?" She confirmed that in fact there was not a baby in my uterus. Even though we heard that I was not pregnant once again at that appointment, we still had an overwhelming amount of peace. It wasn't the typically reaction upon finding out that yet again, this was not the month. Just peace, that's the only way I can describe it.

So, we would wait...wait for my cycle to start so I could go in for my blood work and start our "plan" of action! So we waited....and waited....and waited....and nothing....a day late....a few days late....

When you suffer from infertility, this is a tough place to be because there have been months where I've had no period at all so this was nothing too abnormal. I had a strange feeling about this time though. I didn't test until I was about a week late because the hope that I may be pregnant is more fun than testing to find out that I'm not...

Friday after work I went to the store and bought a test...the digital kind that says the words, "not pregnant" or "pregnant" on them. I couldn't even wait until Michael was home from school. I tested when I got home from the store. At first I just couldn't look at it. Finally I looked and could not believe when I saw the word "PREGNANT." I immediately began trembling and crying and praising the Lord. I kept going back to look at the test to make sure the word "not" didn't show up later! I couldn't even wait until Michael walked in the door, I had to call him. Luckily he was on his way home! A few hours after he got home I tested again and had another positive test. We cried lots of tears of joy and just began praising the faithful God who we serve who hears our prayers. He is a God of miracles! We are so thankful for all of the people who have gone to battle for us in this long journey. We pray now for a healthy baby who will grow up to love Jesus! We pray that He will use our story to give hope and comfort to others and that He can use us to minister to those who go through infertility.

Our miracle baby McCracken will make his/her debut in August! We are so blessed! For this child we have prayed! Nothing is impossible with Him! Praise Jesus!

Hope and Rest

2009-12-07T16:25:00.000-08:00

"My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken." Psalm 62:1-2

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him." Psalm 62:5

The word for hope used in the Old Testament was painting the picture of a shepherd tending his flocks looking for water. The word referred to a reservoir of water. A reservoir...more than enough water...not just a pond or a small lake....enough....more than enough!

The word for hope used in the New Testament means constant expectation for something good! "My hope comes from Him." He is my reservoir of water...more than enough. I will wait in constant expectation for something good. Oh, Jesus, thanks for reminding me of this truth about You.

Thanksgiving and Appointment

2009-11-27T14:26:00.001-08:00

I am sitting here typing this post from my parent's house in Ennis, Tx. Yesterday we celebrated Thanksgiving with my mom and dad, my sister, my brother, his wife, and their two beautiful kids. My sister came in from North Carolina and my brother and his family were in from Ft. Hood. I am so thankful that we were all together as a family. Since my brother was deployed over Thanksgiving last year, it has been like 2 years since we were all together. I am not only thankful that we were able to spend Thanksgiving together as a family, I am also thankful that after all my family has endured, we are physically and emotionally able to be together during the holidays. This Thanksgiving, there was no drama, which I prayed hard for! It sounds silly, but it is a huge God-thing that we had a peaceful day together. I am so thankful. I am so thankful that God is restoring relationships in my family. I am so thankful that He continues to work in my dad's life as he recovers from years of alcoholism. I am so thankful.

Wednesday is a big day for Michael and I. We will go to Reproductive Medicine Associates in San Antonio to meet Dr. Hudson for the first time. She is a reproductive endocrinologist...AKA a fertility specialist. We will have our first appointment with her because my Ob/gyn did not want to keep me on Clomid any longer. She said that she wasn't sure why I still wasn't pregnant since I did so well on the Clomid, so she wanted to send me to a specialist. I am thankful for her pro-active way of handling my situation. We will meet with Dr. Hudson and her team on Wednesday at 1:30. We are praying for wisdom and guidance as we make decisions that will affect our future family. We are full of hope and are excited to take this next step. There are definitely days that I throw my "it's not fair" and "why us?" tantrums, but the God of peace and hope just reassures me in my soul that He is in control and He is faithful, good and unchanging. He is true to His promises and He has put a desire in my heart to be a mom...He will come through. I am reading a book right now written by 2 women who struggled with infertility for years and they made the statement that "in the battle of infertility, you will win." They talk about how if you want to be parents, it will happen....it may not be the way you always thought it would happen, but you can have a family. I felt the Lord reassuring my heart as I read that. He is big enough to perform this miracle. He is big enough and His plans are perfect. Oh, Lord, help me see beyond they way I've always wanted things to be.
Once again, thank you so much for praying!

Fear

2009-11-15T19:32:00.000-08:00

Well, it's not the month again. I go to the doctor on November 23rd to discuss next steps. This has been a tough one this month. Every month is disappointing, but for some reason this month was really emotional for me. We are needing our prayer warriors in a major way! I feel like the root of the pain is fear, which I know is sin! It's painful every month to find out I'm not pregnant again...over 24 months now of disappointment...but I think the hardest part is when I let fear creep in to my heart. The fear of the "what ifs?" What if I never am able to have kids, what if it's 5 years from now...which right now seems like if it takes that long, I'll be in a psych ward somewhere! So, if you need something specific to pray for, you can pray that we will not let fear take hold of our hearts. Pray that when we wonder "what if," we will remember that God knows and even if I never conceive, we will still praise Him.

I'm constantly reminded of His grace and love for me. I am constantly thankful for my greatest earthly blessing in Michael, who has been amazing through all of this. I am praying that I will use this time to draw closer to Him. I pray that I can be used someday to help women who go through the same thing. Oh, Lord, forgive me for fearing and not trusting. Help me see beyond the here and now.

I was able to go to Denton this weekend for a wedding of a girl I grew up with. It was so fun to spend time with good friends. I stayed with my best friend in the whole world and we stayed up way too late both nights talking and talking. It was refreshing! God is good!

Good Results

2009-11-07T15:36:00.000-08:00

Dr.'s office called Thursday to give me my blood test results. I ovulated again this month. I have now on all 3 rounds of Clomid. My progesterone is 51, which is the highest it's been so far. This is good news once again! Pray that this is the month!

The nurse said that if I don't have a positive pregnancy test this month, my doctor does not want to keep me on Clomid. She wants to refer me to a fertility specialist. This brings about a whole new set of decisions. Pray for wisdom for Michael and I as we decide what our next steps should be. We cannot thank you all enough for your prayers! We are humbled and so grateful!

Please let me know how we can be praying for you! :)

Pictures

2009-11-04T14:41:00.001-08:00

Here are so pics from Halloween (teenage skaters!), hanging out with the Barfields, and the Spurs game. Fun times! Check out Michael's "skinny jeans!"

Haha!

Fall Fun!

2009-11-03T17:54:00.000-08:00

I love fall! I love the cooler weather and I love that it gets lighter earlier! I love that there are Christmas decorations in stores already and that Thanksgiving is not too far away! We have had a lot of fun already this fall!

A couple of weeks ago, we had to say good-bye to Michael's sister and her sweet family. They moved back to Houston after living in S.A. for the past year! What an amazing year we have had with them. We had so much fun this past year watching Warren's football and basketball games, playing apples-to-apples, having Warren and Grace spend the night, Thursday night get-togethers and many weekend hangouts...we have loved having them here! Julie is not just my sister-in-law, but has become one of my dearest friends. We can't wait to visit you Barfields! We love you and miss you like crazy!

Michael and I had a chance to get away last weekend for the first time in a long time. This was Michael's first Sunday to miss in like 2 years! We went to Austin and stayed at a Bed and Breakfast for the first time. Saturday night we stayed in a hotel in Austin and went to the Austin Stone on Sunday morning. It was so relaxing and refreshing. We had such a great time with each other. It was so nice just to be away and rest with all that's been going on lately.

We had a costume party last week for the youth at our church and for the young adults! Michael and I decided to dress up as "skater teenagers!" The kids really thought it was funny! Who knew I would get old enough to dress as a teenager for Halloween! (I definitely could've passed for a 14 year old!...can normally anyway!) We had a blast at both parties and are reminded constantly of how much we adore the people in our church family!

The Lord has really been working on my heart lately. I feel like He has been pulling out so many ugly things that I have had in my heart. He is bringing them to light and I don't like staring them in the face, but I'm so thankful that He loves me so much to not leave me the way I am. I so desire to be consumed by Him instead of all the other things that I allow to consume me. I'm still working on my prayer life...praying with believing...even in miracles!!! He is who He says He is, He can do what He says He can do, I am who He says I am, His word is alive and active, and I can do all things through Him....believing Him!

Trying to post pics....it's not working...I'll have to do this later! Pics coming soon!

Round 3

2009-10-14T15:36:00.000-07:00

I'm actually not going to blog about a boxing or wrestling match! I am starting round 3 of Clomid on Saturday. This past Friday I received a call from my doctor's office that my blood work looked really great! I had ovulated this month and my progesterone was a 40, which was doubled from last month. We were sooooo excited! The nurse told me that I shouldn't need a 3rd round of Clomid. Every time Michael walked by me he touched my stomach. He was so excited! I tested on Sunday and had a negative pregnancy test. In the back of my mind, I didn't believe it! I justified it by thinking maybe it was too soon to test. Well, I'm definitely not pregnant this month. We are sad, we are grieving and hurting....BUT we know that He has great plans for us! I am convicted lately because I've been doing a lot of praying, but am I praying with belief? Am I really praying in expectation that God does hear and answer? Am I praying fully trusting and believing that He is faithful? I want to be a believing prayer warrior! I don't want to doubt! Oh Lord, in our sadness, don't let us doubt, for You are faithful!

I feel like some day I will look back at this online journal and share it with my son or daughter about our journey so I decided to start writing to him/her.

Future baby McCracken!,

I want you to know how much we want you. I want you to know that we are longing and praying on our knees for you. I can't wait for you to grow in my tummy, even if you make me throw up every single day! I can't wait to feel you move and kick. I can't wait to buy you sweet baby clothes and toys! I am so excited about giving you a name. I am so excited about teaching you about Jesus. You are going to be a miracle baby! You are going to remind us of His faithfulness and goodness and mercy. How sweet it will be to finally hear those words, "you're pregnant!" We will love you so much! We can't wait to hold you in our arms! We can't wait to meet you!

I cannot say thank you enough to our prayer warriors. We know so many of you are praying for us and we are so incredibly humbled and thankful. Next blog, pictures of something not associated with Clomid, or negative pregnancy tests.....promise! :)

Enough

2009-09-21T16:07:00.000-07:00

Jesus is!

"The Lord is exalted over all the nations, his glory above the heavens. Who is like the Lord our God, the One who sits enthroned on high, who stoops down to look on the heavens and the earth? He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; he seats them with princes, with the princes of their people. He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children.

Praise the LORD."

Psalm 113:4-9

Clinging to the hope and promise of this Scripture in these months and days.

Disturb Us

2009-09-10T13:37:00.001-07:00

Disturb us, Lord, when

We are too well pleased with ourselves,

When our dreams have come true

Because we have dreamed too little,

When we arrived safely

Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when

With the abundance of things we possess

We have lost our thirst

For the waters of life;

Having fallen in love with life,

We have ceased to dream of eternity

And in our efforts to build a new earth,

We have allowed our vision

Of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,

To venture on wider seas

Where storms will show your mastery;

Where losing sight of land,

We shall find the stars.

We ask You to push back

The horizons of our hopes;

And to push into the future

In strength, courage, hope, and love.

[Sir Francis Drake]

Things that Make....

2009-08-30T15:57:00.000-07:00

My Heart Glad!

I am so behind on blogging! So, I thought I would summarize some events as of late by just bringing up a few things that have made my heart glad lately! The Lord has a way of doing this in our lives by His grace and I am so thankful! So, here are some things that He has used to really make my heart glad recently!

Going on a cruise with Michael's mom, aunt, and sisters that was an absolute BLAST!
The trip included laughing so hard my stomach hurt...several times! Love it!
Coming home this week to realize my husband had started dinner for me! :)
Being overwhelmed by the Lord's presence in worship this morning...even though there were only about 25 people there this morning. Where 2 or more are gathered....!
Getting a phone call from my brother that he is getting promoted to Sergeant in the Army. So proud of him!
In the midst of feeling like I'm drowning in lesson planning, God blessed me with a really great group of 3rd graders!
Getting a phone call from my Vice Principal during the week to check on me and let me know she's praying for me. Wow.
Going on my first round of Clomid! Praying for a miracle. September is the 2 year mark of our struggle with infertility.
The only side effect I've experienced from Clomid is hot flashes, not bad considering all of the possible ones! Answer to specific prayer!
Signing up to do Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University through our church. So excited!
Spending time with sweet friends at Starbucks, a Silver Stars game, and over dinner.
San Antonio little league finishing 4th in the little league world series
College football season is here!
My husband is home when I get home since he's not coaching football this year! This was a HUGE God thing for this year!

Praise You Lord for the day-to-day ways You make my heart glad. I am humbled and thankful!

Summer & Update

2009-08-06T15:17:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I've totally dropped the ball posting on our New York trip...and I'm not making any promises! Since then I've been on a cruise with Michael's mom, sisters, and aunt. We had an amazing time! I'll have to post about that too...eventually. I'm way behind and with school starting in a few weeks, I don't know that I'll ever catch up! I'll post pics on facebook though!

I can't believe that we only have one full week left before going back to work. It has been a really great summer. I am so blessed to get to spend the summer with my hubby who is off too!

I am excited and nervous about starting the new school year. Third grade will be a challenge for me, but I'm excited.

In other news, I had a Dr. appointment today. My Dr. is starting me on Clomid. She officially told me today that I have "unexplained infertility." Medically speaking, they cannot pinpoint what is going on with me. They do think that I have some anovulatory cycles, meaning that some cycles I do not ovulate, but others I do. Anyway, I am starting Clomid and praying! I know that His will is going to be done and that all of this is on His kingdom calendar. His timing is perfect. I will keep you updated and am so extremely grateful for your prayers!

The Big Apple

2009-07-25T14:13:00.000-07:00

It has taken me forever to sit down and post about New York, so I'm going to do my best to get the trip "blogged" over the next few days!

Day I

Our flight left San Antonio at 6:30 AM...arrived at the airport at 5. Met Michael's parents to take us to the airport at 4:45...early!

When we arrived in New York we went to get our bags and walked outside to catch a cab to the hotel. We have never tried to "catch" a cab before. There was a man standing in a suit and he asked if we needed a ride, so we said, "Yes." He walked with us to the edge of the stre

et and said the driver was bringing a car around. Weird....2 drivers? Anyway, we wait and finally a black escalade, windows completely black, pulls up. We are soooo trusting, so we got in this vehicle with these 2 men. Michael had the route from the airport to the hotel pulled up on his phone and he was watching it carefully as we rode with these men who were taking us "fingers crossed" to the hotel! I texted Michael as we rode and my text said, "if we get

off course, give me the look and i'll open my door so we can jump out of the car!" Fortunately, we didn't have to do that and later learned that these guys own a limo service. In this eco

nomy, they are not getting much business so they decided to give rides in the escalade. We made it to the hotel and were able to leave our bags with the front de

sk so we could head to the Yankees game.

We took the subway to Yankee stadium and arrived at the game in the 4th inning. Yankee

stadium is gorgeous. The field is gorgeous and the hot dogs were amazing! :)

The Yankees ended up losing, which was sad, but the experience was amazing. There's nothing like a major league baseball game in the summer time! (it helps when it's Yankee Stadium too!) Michael was so excited and we both had a great time at the game.

After the game, we took the subway back to our hotel on Time Square and we were able to check in to our room. The Crowne Plaza was super nice and we loved being right on Time Square. Once we checked in, we decided to go walk around and just take everything i

n! We were able to walk around Time Square and somewhat gain our bearings on where things were. Time Square is amazing and pictures have never done it justice. It is over stimulating for sure...all the lights, all the people....so much fun! We went into the M&M store, which was HUGE and had more M&Ms one could possibly imagine! After buying some peanut butter M&Ms we headed back out onto Time Square to try to figure out where to go for dinner.

We were walking down the street and I spotted a restaurant called ESPN

Zone. I immediately knew this is where we had to eat...I know, you are thinking WHY??!! After our wedding, when we arrived at the Gaylord Texan and were starving, that is the place we ate! Since this was our anniversary trip, and I hadn't seen this restaurant anywhere else, I thought it would be fun to eat there and remember our first "married" dinner together! The place is so cool and the view of Time Square was great!

I would totally post more pics, but I am having trouble...when I add a new one, it keeps deleting the ones I have already posted. Any tips on this would be great! :)

Anyway, after the baseball game, our first day mostly included walking around Time Square! We were in awe! We were really exhausted from a long day so we headed to bed and were eager to start Day II of our trip!

Joy of Summer!

2009-07-03T10:44:00.000-07:00

I love summer! We are having a great time off! Last week we took a trip to Lubbock. We hadn't been back since we moved 3 years ago...crazy, I know! We stayed with Michael's aunt and uncle and had an amazing time hanging out with Job, Janis, Jeff, and Jennifer! Thanks Buschmans for a great week! :) We also were able to meet Mailey Williams! She is adorable. Her mom, Melissa discipled me all through college and it was so amazing to be back in their home hanging out! Thanks for letting me hang out with you and your family! On Tuesday night, we were able to have dinner with some sweet friends at Buns Over Texas. We so enjoyed getting to see Tim, Kailee, Jake, Amanda, Coby, Jennifer, and meet baby Camren! We left Lubbock so refreshed. We have so many sweet memories there and it was fun to revisit those memories.

On Monday Michael and I are flying to New York! Michael surprised me early for our 4th wedding anniversary with a trip to New York. It has been my dream to go there! We are sooo excited! We know for sure we are going to a Yankees game and to see Wicked on Broadway. Those are the only things we've bought tickets for and planned so far! If you have any "must dos" to share with me, please do! I know it's a huge city and we won't be able to accomplish everything in just 5 days! Any pointers you may have would be so appreciated! I will definitely blog about the trip when we get back (with pictures). This is going to be a much needed get away. I feel like I'm going on my 2nd honeymoon! :)

I hope everyone is enjoying their summer and trying to stay cool! It's so hot!

For Such a Time as This

2009-06-16T13:19:00.000-07:00

I am in a women's Bible study with ladies from our church. We are doing Beth Moore's study on Esther! It is changing my life! The Lord is so faithful and the Spirit knows exactly what we need and when we need it. There are so many things I've learned, but last week spoke so clearly to me in the season of life I am in.

Ephesians 3:2 tells us there is "a time to be born and a time to die." Beth Moore states, "God cut out those exact perimeters for you and me on the kingdom calendar so that we would be positioned on earth right now."

Acts 17:26 tells us that God, "determined the times as for us and the exact places that (we) should live."

This specific part of the study spoke so clearly to my heart because it reminds me that the days of my child's life are already set on the kingdom calendar! Our child will be born and be placed on this earth to fulfill his/her purpose because God has determined the exact times and places he or she should live. By grace, our children will come to a saving knowledge of Christ and by grace, our children will fulfill their God-given destinies for "such a time as this" when they are on this earth.

At the end of the day's lesson, she posts the lyrics to the Steven Curtis Chapman's song "Miracle of the Moment." I've heard this song many times, but never really paid attention to the words. I was so encouraged by reading them...

There's only ONE who knows what's really out there waiting

In all the moments yet to be and all we need to know is HE'S OUT THERE WAITING

To Him the future's history and He has given us a treasure called RIGHT NOW

And this is the only moment we can do anything about

And if it brings you tears then taste them as they fall and let them soften your heart

And if it brings you laughter then throw your head back and let it go

YOU GOTTA LET IT GO

Listen to your heartbeat

There's a wonder in the here and now, it's right there in front of you

And I don't want you to miss THE MIRACLE OF THE MOMENT

Longing

2009-06-04T21:32:00.000-07:00

I am longing to be a mom. I am struggling with patience. I know God's plan is Sovereign. I know that in His perfect timing, we will have a baby. I trust Him completely. I am thankful for the time Michael and I have and I cherish him as my greatest earthly blessing. I still struggle with the raw emotion that goes along with infertility. I am longing deep in my soul to be a mommy. Praying, seeking, and longing...

Change

2009-05-11T15:50:00.000-07:00

is never easy! I found out that I'm going to have to teach 3rd grade next year. My first year of teaching I taught Kinder. After that year, I thankfully moved up to first grade, which is what I've taught the past 2 years. I LOVE teaching first grade! I LOVE teaching reading and seeing the growth the kids make in the course of a year. Our school currently has 5 first grade classes and 4 3rd grade classes. Next year, we only need 4 first grade classes and they will need 5 3rd grade classes....so....that sends me up to 3rd grade. I can get excited about all of the things I'll be able to do with 3rd graders! I get really excited thinking about them reading big chapter books and doing literature circles and even writing workshop....and just as I get excited the dreaded word is spoken....TAKS!!!! I am scared to death to teach a TAKS grade. Everyone keeps telling me how horrible it is and that TAKS is all you can teach if you want good scores. Maybe I'm naive, but I think somehow, I can still do my writer's workshop and literature circles and prepare my kids for the test. Please tell me if I'm living in a fantasy teacher world! Any advice would be appreciated! Mostly, I am bummed about leaving my team. We are so close and we plan everything together! It's such a blessing! I am going to third with the hopes of a spot in first opening back up the next year and I'll go back down. My principal's words to me were, "Once you go up, you'll never go down!" Wonder if that's true? Guess I'll find out!

In other news...our church is currently seeking our own place. This is so exciting! The church has been meeting in a school cafeteria for 8 years! It is time! We are seeking and praying for guidance and discernment. This is a really exciting time in the life of our small, but full of life, body!

I can't believe I haven't updated about baby stuff since I heard some really great news. During my last round of blood work, I ovulated! My levels had gone from 2.4 the month before to a 15.5!!!! This is awesome! I ovulated! Praise the Lord! He is so good! My doctor said, "call us when you miss a period and we'll do a pregnancy test!" I wanted to jump up and down, and at the same time I wanted to say, "that's it?" "After alllll of the tests- that's it?" I'm reading a book that's called Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It's been really educational and I'm learning alot about my body and how all of this stuff works! It's making God so much bigger to me because of all of the details about our bodies and conceiving. It is amazing! He is amazing! What a perfect design! Anyway, so....no clomid or fertility treatments yet. If I'm not pregnant in a few months then I'll call back and see if we can do something to help regulate my ovluation...but it's a HUGE praise that I actually did! Thank you so much to those of you who have been praying!

I'll end the post by telling you some cool news! Michael and I were asked by a friend of mine who works at the capitol in Austin to sing Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone) at a ceremony for fallen soldiers' families. The ceremony is at the capitol and will be in front of the Senate, House, Governor....and precious families of soldiers from Texas who have lost their lives in the last year fighting in the war on terrorism. We are humbled and honored to be able to do this! We are also veeerrryyy nervous! It's on May 30th. We are praying now that the words to this song will speak truth about our precious Savior and minister to those who hear.

That's it for now! Hope you are all doing well! Until next time.....(no telling when!)

Home Improvement

2009-04-19T19:41:00.000-07:00

Summer is quickly approaching...34 days of school left to be exact! (but who's counting??)

After we moved in our house, I was super excited at first to get everything decorated and set up! I did some stuff, but then busyness took over and I've let house stuff sit on the back burner for too long! This summer I want to work on the house more. We still have a spare room that is painted bright green with a bright green stripe around the walls because it was the previous owners' baby room...still needs to be painted!

I am not the greatest at decorating, choosing colors, knowing the "rules" of matching rooms with bathrooms in the house...or gardening. So, I'm asking for your help! Here are a few questions! Feel free to respond to all of these or just a few! I know some of you have skill in this area!

1. Our spare bathroom is in between our two spare rooms. Do the colors in this bathroom need to coordinate with the bedding in the spare bedroom?

2. What are some good stores with reasonable home decor prices? I know about Kirklands and Home Goods...any others you like?

3. What do you do with a big blank wall? What are some ideas for things to hang on a huge wall?

4. If our flower beds already have a liner to keep weeds out, do we just need to buy top soil to re-do them?

5. What kinds of flowers are good to grow in a flower bed that will make it through summer?

These might seem silly, but any help is definitely appreciated! :) Let the home projects begin!

Much Needed Spring Break!

2009-03-13T15:16:00.000-07:00

Although I love my job, I have to say the best parts are June, July, August, 2 weeks at Christmas, 1 week for Thanksgiving and Spring Break! This year we were able to go to Pagosa Springs, Colorado. We stayed in Pagosa Springs and we skied Wolf Creek. 4 friends made the 15 hour trek with us in a rented mini van....awesome! The drive was long, but well worth it!

The whole group at the top of the mountain!

We stayed with some friends of our friend Dave who went with us. The house we stayed in was amazing and the owners were amazing people who I feel blessed to have gotten to know a little bit. Thank you so much Chris, Rachel, Sierra, and Cedar! You made our trip so wonderful!

We skied for 3 days and it was a blast. Michael snowboarded for the first time ever. He did take some pretty rough falls, but ended up boarding blues most of the time. I ventured out and skied my first black ever! It was scary, but so much fun! I am horrible at sports, especially ones that involve eye-hand coordination. For some reason, when long things are attached to

my feet, it feels natural! I love to water ski and snow ski!

I still cannot figure out picture layout in this thing! Sorry!

It was amazing to see the view from the top of the mountain. I was thinking as I looked at the mountains and the beautiful snow how amazing it is that those mountains are there to glorify God. They were created to give Him glory and they cry out praises to Him in all of their beauty!All of this to say, Spring Break was great! We feel so blessed to have this time off in March to recoop! We feel extremely blessed to have it off together! What a good thing the Lord has done for us!

Happenings...

2009-02-23T15:11:00.001-08:00

Some things that have been happening lately...

I went this past weekend to Michael's cousin's bachelorette weekend. It was so fun and such a blessing to be with his sweet aunt and cousins. I am so blessed to be part of this family!
My dad went on a Precept ministries men's retreat this past weekend. The theme of the weekend was breaking strongholds of the past. Mom called Sunday to say that he stood up in front of the church to talk about what the Lord is doing in his life. He told them that he struggles with alcoholism and needs their help. Praise God, this is a HUGE answer to prayer.
Shared another valentine's day with the love of my life! We went to dinner reeeaaalllly early, like at 4:30 then went to set up church. It was a sweet time because I was able to reflect on Michael, his passion for me and his passion for ministry. I love his heart and am so blessed to be his bride!
Michael and I had a major heart to heart about all the baby stuff. It can be overwhelming! We talked about how we don't want to look back at this time in our marriage and have memories of being miserable because we couldn't have kids. We want to enjoy each other and be used affectively in ministry. We know that if we allow ourselves to be consumed by our sadness, we will become inaffective. After this conversation, the peace that came over me has been indescribable.
About a week after our conversation I was ironically standing in Babies R Us with my friend Amber who is 5 months pregnant. We had gone to buy some boy clothes for her sweet baby on the way! While I was there my phone rang and I answered. It was my doctor's office calling with the results of some blood work I had to have done. The first question the nurse asked was, "did you even have a cycle last month?" I knew that since they were checking for ovulation, this was not a good question...because yes, I had. She told me that progesterone levels following ovulation will be on average about a 10. Mine was 2.6. Ok, so this is low. This is not great news. That peace I was talking about....overwhelming peace....that passes all understanding....guarding my heart! Amazing! I was in Babies R Us hearing that I don't ovulate and I had peace. Thank you Jesus for Your grace and Your overwhelming peace! I am going through one more round of blood work this month and then we will talk about clomid.
Truly thank you to those who are praying. We know that His timing is perfect. We know we will have a sweet baby that is ours someday. Pray specifically for continued peace over our thoughts and hearts. Pray for my body, that a miracle would occur. Pray for patience. Pray that we are used in this situation for His glory! We love you and we know that we have prayer warriors! We are forever grateful and so overwhelmed by Him in these days!

"I want to sit at Your feet, drink from the cup in Your hand, lay back against You and breathe, fill Your heartbeat. This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand. I melt in Your peace, it's overwhelming!" (The More I Seek You by: Kari Jobe)

R & R

2009-01-27T15:15:00.000-08:00

My brother is home for a few weeks from Iraq for his R&R. This past weekend I went to Ennis, to my parents so I could see him. He looks great! I am so proud of him. I was able to see some pictures from his tour. His platoon is doing some really great things over there to help the Iraqi people and prevent future attacks. I am thankful for my brother and the men and women he serves with every day.

I not only was able to see him, but his sweet family. Chasten is 2 and Claire is 8 months. She started walking at 7 months so she's walking like a pro now! They are soooo cute! I love being an aunt! Here are some pics! Chasten had a book of shapes and was naming the pictures. He would say, "that's a star!" "You like that star?" It was adorable! When he came to the page with a balloon on it, he said, "It's a party!" "You like that party?" We laughed and made him do it over and over again! Soooooo adorable!

I can't upload my videos for some reason! Maybe I'll figure it out later!

In other news, I went in a few weeks ago for some blood work. I have more scheduled for next Friday, February 6th. This blood work is checking my hormone levels. I will keep you updated on the results! We continue to seek Him on this journey and this past month when I learned that once again I wasn't pregnant, I was overwhelmed with peace. I am so grateful for His plan and His provision upon our lives! Thank you for praying! We are so thankful!

The Place to Be....

2009-01-11T19:34:00.000-08:00

was our house, tonight...for an NFL football game that we were ASKED to record so the guys could come over to watch it after they played their own game of football! Well...did you know that if you keep recorded things on your DVR it runs out of space??? Who knew??? Not me apparently...in my attempts to be super wife I was so proud of the fact that I even remembered to record the game at all. So, we had a house full of guys and a few girls, snacks, pizza....and only half of a football game! OOPS! I learned my lesson and we have proceeded to delete some things off of our DVR list! Some lessons are only learned the hard way!

So after we watched the first half, did they stay over for the good conversation? NO....they left to go to another person's house who had the game recorded. Michael stayed here so that was nice! ;)...and I get to go to bed earlier! Haha!

Some highlights of our Christmas/New Years/and 2009 so far...

*Christmas was wonderful. My parents had a great visit and we enjoyed their company! They gave me their China from their own wedding for Christmas. This is soooo special!

*We traveled to Dallas for the Cotton Bowl and aside from the outcome, we had a great time! We loved staying with our sweet friends George and Mandy. We were able to see some precious college friends! It was a blast!

*Tyson and Melissa came to San Antonio and visited our house! I love that family!

*Michael's parents got us a gift certificate to a bed and breakfast. We can't wait to use it!

*I saw Bride Wars, which I think is a super cute chick flick...Warning: do not take your guy or any guy with you to see this! They will be sighing and grumbling the whole time! I didn't take Michael, but I can only imagine his attitude if he had to sit through that movie! Girls...go see it for sure! Thanks for the invite Megan!

*We were in bed at 11 on New Year's...but we celebrated with New York!

*One of my goals this year is to memorize a verse a week! I have been really lazy about scripture memory. Thankfully, I have the help of 2 girlfriends...we are in this together!

*My brother is somewhere between Iraq and the US as I type this. He's coming home for his R&R! I am so proud of him and so thankful for his sacrifice for our country!

It's going to be a great year!!!

I'm Back!

2008-12-20T20:08:00.000-08:00

It takes me so long between each post that I should really just stop apologizing! Maybe I should commit to a day of the week to blog....I'll have to think about that and see what I can come up with!

I'm sitting here on the couch and it's the night of December 20th. Christmas is 4 days away. I wish I could say I was finished shopping, but the truth is, we have alot to do! Thankfully Michael and I are both off this week and the week after that. We will have some time on Monday and Tuesday to shop. We are those people who wait until the last minute. Next year I want to be one of those people who finishes Christmas shopping in November! We'll see if that happens! We have so much fun shopping for our nieces and nephews at Christmas! This year my mom and dad are coming to San Antonio for Christmas. We are so excited to host them in our new house! We are going to take them to a Spurs game and try to do a few other "San Antonio" things while they are here. We are looking forward to our time with them.

As far as a baby journey update...

I had an HSG test done a few weeks ago. This is a test where they insert dye into the uterus and watch under x-ray. They are checking to make sure there is no blockage. They are able to see if the dye spills over into the fallopian tubes without any trouble. This test was extremely painful, but we found out that everything on my insides looks good. This was a huge relief! Praise God! The next step is to have my blood tested on the 3rd day of my next cycle and then again on the 21st day. They are going to check my hormone levels to see if I have ovulated or not. My cycles have been totally out of whack lately so this will be interesting! We are still confident in our Lord and His timing. We continue to seek Him as we take our next steps. I will say that I have heard some interesting things through all of this...some of my favorites have been...

* "When you stop thinking about it, you'll become pregnant."

* "You need to drink some wine so you can relax and then...."

* "I'll be a surrogate for you. I love being pregnant, I just don't like it when the kids come out." (I'm not kidding.)

* "You're young. Once you have kids you're whole life will change. There's no rush."

* "You can borrow mine for a while. They drive me crazy."

Let's just say this journey is very interesting. I'm sure those of you that experienced any infertility issues have heard some of the same things!

I will try not to make every blog about this and I know one day I'll be posting pics of our precious child up on here!

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas! I love this time of year and am reminded of grace and mercy upon our lives. What a wonderful Savior!

Blessed

2008-11-06T16:20:00.000-08:00

To give you an update on the journey we are on...I had the plan from my doctor and was so excited that we had a "plan." I was to do an ovulation predictor kit for 2 months and then if I wasn't pregnant in 2 months, I would have to get an HSG test done. Month #1 I couldn't do the kit because I never had a cycle! This obviously means I did not ever ovulate. Month #2 I have 2 sticks left of a 20 day ovulation predictor and have not detected an LH surge yet...this means, I have not ovulated and it has been 18 days. I will probably have the HSG test done soon.

The desire to be a mom presses on me. It weighs me down at times and often brings tears to my eyes. It stirs up weird emotions and brings out sin that has to be repented of constantly. A new set of doubts and fears arise with every passing month. If I'm totally honest, it has brought out jealousy in my heart and envy. I have asked the Lord "Why" and I've even proclaimed, "It's not fair." I am embarrassed of my thoughts and have really been praying God's Word... "we demolish strongholds and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." Lord, help me take captive these thoughts that are not of You.

I was recently reading a post that I came upon because of a friend from Phi Lamb in college. Mandy's brother and sister-in-law lost their precious baby girl when she was only 3 months old. Jennifer (mandy's sister-in-law) blogs and just recently did an update on the past 7 months and the healing the Lord has done in their hearts. The Lord used her words to give me a new perspective.

The first thing she said that God has taught her is that her husband is her greatest earthly gift! Wow! The night I read her blog, I left a note on Michael's pillow (b/c I went to bed early!) that said "You, Michael, are the greatest earthly gift that I will ever have!" I need to tell him that more often. I love that! The Lord has blessed me so much with a husband on this earth. A relationship that is the greatest earthly blessing!

I got in bed and opened my Bible to Ephesians 1. Ok, Lord I'm hearing You! Ephesians 1 is about our spiritual blessing! We have been given every spiritual blessing in Christ! Oh, Jesus, thank You for the cross. Thank You that through You and in You I have very spiritual blessing.

So, I am joyful and hopeful. I am fully blessed right now, this day!! Praise You Lord!

Michael's Favorite Things...

2008-10-11T16:06:00.000-07:00

Thanks for tagging me Magen! I've needed a blogging idea for a while now! :) So here we go...

My husband's favorite things in no particular order...

~Coming home to our new house every day! (I'll put up new pics soon that actually have our stuff in the house!

~His guitars....he loves playing guitar and he's taught himself so much over the years.

~Cereal! The man could eat cereal every meal of every day. What kinds? Any cereal that most kids between the ages of 4 and 12 get excited about! Fruity pebbles, fruit loops, apple jacks, cinnamon life, corn pops.....

~Preaching/Teaching/Studying the Word: He truly is a gifted communicator of the gospel. I love hearing him preach, that's one of my favorite things! He really "comes alive" when he's preaching and teaching.

~Football and all things that are ESPN! He loves to watch and know about sports! Spurs basketball, college football esp. Texas Tech....he just loves all of it!

~Spending time with and talking ministry with his closest guy friends, including his dad!

~His family! He loves his family and would do anything for any of them! He loves that Julie and Bill live in S.A. now with the kids. He loves to visit Shelby and Ricky and the boys! He has a blast with his niece and nephews and they loving call him Uncle Mike, which make them the only people to call him Mike! He has an amazing relationship with his mom and dad. He really enjoys spending time at their house on Sunday afternoons!

~Shhhh...don't tell this one! :) Shopping! Yes, it's true...my husband likes to go shopping more than I do! ;)

~Dreaming of owning cool electronic equipment! He frequently dreams of the next i this and i that. He loves anything that Apple comes out with! He loves to go to Best Buy to just "look."

~Running! He's up to 14 miles in his training for the San Antonio Rock N' Roll Marathon and he weirdly "loves" running. I didn't know those two words could ever go together!

~The Church at Vineyard Hills: He loves being a part of what God is doing there!

~Tickling my feet! Unfortunately, this is one of his favorite things...too bad I am reeeaaalllly ticklish! I guess that's what makes it fun?!

~He frequently tells me that he loves being on this journey with me. He loves to go on dates and hang out, just me and him. He loves surprising me in sweet ways. He loves to lay on the couch with me and watch a movie.

Ok, so there are my husband's favorite things! I cannot figure out how to attach appropriate pictures because when I try to put a pic in to make this more fun to look at, they all go to the top and I can't change it! Hmmmm... how do you get them right where you want them and then put text under them? Any tips would be appreciated!

Thanks for the tag Magen!

I tag:

Ali Cooper for her husband Ben

Amy Cooper for her husband Nick

Melissa for her husband Tyson

Leah for her husband Lex

Mandy for her husband George

Carrie for her husband Chad

Homeowners!

2008-09-18T13:25:00.000-07:00

Well, as of about 1:30 today, we are officially homeowners! We are so excited! Here are some pics of the house when it still had the seller's stuff in it...so that might be weird! I'll post some new pics after we move in and do some painting! God has blessed us beyond measure and we are so thankful! There are 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms...I won't put pics of everything...but these will give you an idea! :)

I also had my doctor's appointment this morning. She wants me to do an ovulation predictor kit for the next 2 months and start taking prenatal vitamins. If I am not pregnant in 2 months, I am going to have an HSG done which is a test where they have to run a line into my uterus. They put dye in me and watch on xray what's going on inside. Apparently the test is not pleasant! We are praying and knowing that our God is so faithful and Sovereign! So, here begins our journey to parenthood! We approach it prayerfully and absolutely at peace, which I know is His grace poured out on us! We covet your prayers!

Here's the house! The picture of the front of the house also has our realtor in it...who did so much to help us! The picture of the back yard with the deck has my amazing hubby in it! :) He is so excited to learn how to do things at the house! :)

Beautiful Inheritance Part I

2008-09-17T18:34:00.000-07:00

Here are some notes from the Beth Moore conference that I went to a few weeks ago. I'm leaving out a lot of amazing detail...but I wanted to share this! I'll do the rest in part II soon!

Psalm 16:5-6

The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup, you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places, indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance."

He redeems, not just to get us out of trouble, but to give us something incredible...an inheritance!

His inheritance always involves 3 things:

1. Presence- promise to His people of Himself (Genesis 26:23 and Joshua 1:9)

2. People- God's whole idea is relationship (Psalm 16:3, Revelation 7:9, Genesis 12:3, Genesis 22:17-18, Deuteronomy 4:20)

3. Property- Psalm 16:5 "you have made my lot secure"

So, we have a promise as heirs of God...His presence, His people, and property in Heaven!

1. I am an heir of God. My life is not left to chance!

God works as powerfully through the natural events that He does the miraculous ones!

Fate has NO power over me!

2. I am an heir of God. I am inheriting a kingdom.

Matthew 25:34

What do we have now? Right now we are tenants of the talents.

Spiritually, we have been brought into the kingdom (Colossians 1:12)

Heaven is a real-life kingdom! (not just a bunch of ghost people floating around!)

3. I am an heir of God. He is my portion...and I am His.

Psalm 16, Deuteronomy 10:8-9

Tribe of Levi was set apart. they did not have a lot- the Lord told them that He was their portion

The Lord tells them that He is the only inheritance that they need.

1 Peter 2:4-5 We are the New Testament priesthood

The Lord is our choice portion!

The Levitical priests were spread out over the earth to be light. As light in darkness, He is my portion!

Deuteronomy 4:20, 32:9- He considers His own people His inheritance

Ephesians 1:18 His glorious inheritance IN us, not for us!

The Lord's treasured possession is His people!

There are 8 statements total...I'll blog a part II later this week!

P.S. My doctor's appt. is tomorrow and we're closing on our house tomorrow! I'll update and post pics soon! :)

Greet each day knowing that you are an heir of God! You are His portion, His chosen portion!

"Don't Be Alarmed....

2008-08-29T19:48:00.000-07:00

if Mason comes up to you with his ear in his hand."

This is a statement that I heard at meet the teacher! I bet this is a quote you have never heard before so I thought I'd share it! A little boy in my room has a prosthetic ear. When he gets hot and sweats sometimes the glue comes "unstuck" so his ear comes off. I failed to inform the rest of my 1st grade team about this and the other day it happened at recess...when I was off recess duty! I was doing some work in my classroom to look up and see little Mason putting something in his backpack. I said, "hey bud, what are you doing?" This is when he says, in a very matter of fact tone, "I'm only putting $9,000 in my backpack, my ear!" Ok, so it's been a crazy week! Starting school is hard work! I was so used to the kids that left me at the end of last year who were almost 2nd graders...and now we have kids right out of kinder again! It's an adjustment for sure! I will say that yesterday I thought, "maybe teaching is not for me!" Today was a much better day and I know that I am doing what I'm supposed to be doing. There are a lot of things I have to just let go of...I can tend to get overwhelmed and I'm convinced that even if I stayed at school until midnight there would still be stuff to do. Any teachers hearing me on that one?

It's going to be a good year and I love getting to know the little (sometimes big) personalities of my 1st graders! I love watching their growth as readers...it's amazing! Hopefully I'll have more stories to blog about throughout the year!

This is going to be a busy, but exciting month! We are closing on a house on September 18th. After having to walk away from the house we just loved....I didn't think we could ever find one we liked as much! God totally blessed us with a house that we absolutely love and it's in a better location than the one before! It's so humbling to me to know that He takes care of so many details....He is so faithful.

The same day we close on the house, I will be going to my doctor's appointment. I don't know if she will want to do tests yet. I'm not sure what this appointment will involve. I do know that I will talk to her about our desires to have a baby and explain the struggles we've had so far. My current struggle is wondering if there's a "right" or "wrong" way to go about all of this as a believer. I KNOW without a doubt that our Sovereign God has a plan and purpose for my life that He will bring to fruition...He has a plan and purpose for my child's life that is in His perfect timing. So...how far do you go with doctors and science? When do you take steps toward getting help or looking in to adoption. These may seem like no brainers, but to me they are just things I've been thinking about lately. I have felt alot of peace this month which I know is straight from Him! I am thankful for it and I'm trying to give this up every day. I would love words of wisdom from anyone who has experienced this or knows of someone who has. In the meantime I am praying constantly that God gets the glory no matter what. Michael and I pray for wisdom and leading and ask that you do the same for us! I will definitely update after my doctors appointment.

Ok, this post is super long! I'm soooo glad this is a long weekend!!!! Last weekend I heard Beth Moore at the Alamodome and it was incredible. She taught about our inheritance!!! I'll share more of that in another post!

3 Years Ago Today...

2008-08-13T12:16:00.001-07:00

...I married the love of my life! I cherish the memories from our wedding day! The past 3 years have been an amazing time of growth! I am so thankful to be on this life journey with Michael! He is my best friend and I love him with all of my heart!

Plans...

2008-08-11T08:25:00.000-07:00

change! Michael and I are continuing to learn that the Lord has a plan for us and that He will bring that plan into fruition. We have to live in faith, take some scary steps sometimes, and trust Him with our lives! Sometimes this is easier said than done....right?

Last week we were supposed to close on our very first home! We were so excited and I had already started to decorate the house in my mind! :) I'll spare you all of the crazy details, but we had to back out of this today. The closing was moved to this week because they builders had not fixed anything from our inspection report. It was like pulling teeth to try to get some of the things our inspector found fixed. They would not provide a list of what they fixed. They lied and told us the house was ready....without a functioning toilet downstairs, with no seals on the windows and doors, with no ladder to get into the attic, with a dishwasher that was loose in its place....and the list goes on and on. Anyway, after being lied to and treated really poorly by the builders, Michael had to make the decision that he felt was best for us as a family. I have to admit, I was not so supportive at first because of the emotional attachment part.....but I now realize that there must be something else for us. So, we will continue to house hunt and pray for God's leading.

So, for my update...to those of you wondering if we are moving soon....we are not buying the house! I'll keep you updated as God does His thing!

Warning....this will be mushy!!!!!

2008-07-22T11:11:00.000-07:00

Sunday, July 20th was my husband's birthday! He turned 25...I know...youngen!!! I always remind him that I was already sitting up on my own maybe even crawling when he was born! :) Anyway, I wanted to use this post to talk about my hubby! I am so thankful that 25 years ago the Lord brought him into this world! As I listen to his mom talk about how big of a surprise he was being 8 and 10 years behind his sisters, I just grin inside because we all know it was no surprise to the Lord. What's even more amazing to me is that before he was even born the Lord knew he would be my life partner. It reminds me of the sovereignty and goodness of the Lord! I am going to attempt to express my gratefulness for Michael in words, knowing that words will never do him justice!

I am thankful for my husband because:

~He is a student of the Word! He loves the Word of God and he is studying it all the time! He challenges me in so many ways!

~He is an amazing teacher/preacher! He has such a gift and the Lord has really used him in my life and so many others!

~He is a leader. I love that I can trust him and his leadership of our family.

~He still opens the car door for me every single time we go somewhere! :)

~He works hard as a teacher and coach!

~He is a man who stands by his convictions.

~He has been an encourager, supporter, and best friend.

~He is sensitive to the Lord's leading and is so obedient, even when it's hard.

These are only a few reasons, and I could really go on and on! I love him so much and am so blessed by him. Having him as my husband is a huge reminder of the grace of the Lord on my life! I am so thankful for his 25 years of life that the Lord has used to mold him into who he is now. I look forward to the next 25 and can't wait to see what God has in store for us! Happy Birthday baby! I love you so much!

Coming up with blog titles....

2008-07-15T13:42:00.000-07:00

is really hard! As I was trying to think of a creative title for my blog today I was reminded of a story I want to share! When I was a freshman in high school I took a journalism class. I thought maybe one day I could be a journalist because I really enjoy writing. I went to a UIL competition that involved different journalistic (i think I just made that word up) categories. One of the categories we had to compete in was headline writing. We would read an editorial piece and then write a creative title for the article using a certain number of spaces. Well...after this competition was over I received my scores. Written next to my titles was the statement, "Melanie, you're writing is really great but, if you become a journalist have someone else write your titles!"

Things here in the hill country are going well! Michael and I are still really enjoying our summer off together. It is a huge benefit of teaching! We had a great time in St. Louis at the wedding. We were able to see alot of people that have known Michael since he was born so it was fun to hear stories! The wedding was beautiful and very classy! Here we are before the reception.

St. Louis is really pretty and we were able to see the arch, which is huge!!! The Mississippi River is really high because

of the flooding so we didn't get to take our river boat cruise! :) It was nice to get away and have a little vacation!

For the 4th, I left Michael in San Antonio and headed to Round Rock, TX just North of Aust

in to stay with Tracy! She was my roommate during college and is one of my

best friends! Her sister Jamie and our friend Stephanie came from Dallas and we had a really fun girl's weekend! We ate out, shopped at the outlet mall in Round Rock, swam, talked alot, and ate some more! It was a blast! These girls are friends that I truly cherish and we had so much fun!

To those of you wondering....I didn't go to my doctor's appointment on July 3rd. I rescheduled for September. I have many reasons for doing this, but mainly just to give us more time! Currently I am doing an ovulation predictor kit to see what it will tell me. I will definitely let you all know how the appt. goes in September. I am doing a Bible study right now that has been discussing the glory of God. This week, I am reminded that the work the Lord is doing in our lives is for His glory! With this baby situation, He will work it out in a way that allows Him to receive the greatest glory. I cling to this hope and the truth of knowing that He is in control. We desire for Him to receive glory!

Currently we are distracted from all of that because we found a house that we love! It is in a neighborhood that is more of a middle ground between our schools. I will keep you posted and when it is more of a sure thing, I will post pictures! We are ready to be homeowners! We are going through the process right now, so if everything goes well, we will close the beginning of August.

I hope this blog finds all of you doing well! We would love to hear from you! Life is good because God is good! If any of you have any tips for blog title writing let me know! :)

Where have I been?

2008-06-24T14:24:00.000-07:00

Hey! I am officially terrible at updating this thing! For all of you that wait and wait and check to see if I've blogged....I am very sorry! ;) Michael and I are really enjoying our summer. It is really nice to have a break from the school setting! Michael is golfing and studying to take some tests for his CDL. (that's a bus driver's license that he has to have as a coach!...and yes they have to parallel park that huge yellow bus!) I am working part time at my mother-in-law's office at Mass Mutual. I feel like a teenager in the office filing and putting together folders! I've already been told by one older man, "You're married! You look like you're 13!" To that I think...really?...13? Ouch! I was at least hoping for 16 or 17. I know though, I'll appreciate it later when I'm 40 and still look 30...that's what people tell me anyway! I am also tutoring two kids this summer.

Michael's sister Julie moved to San Antonio a few weeks ago with her husband and two kids. We have spend almost every day with them! We are being so spoiled to get so much time with our niece and nephew!

Michael and I are house hunting and we go back and forth deciding if we're ready to buy a house or not! Does anyone else have trouble making big decisions like that too?! We've realized that buying a home that is just being built would be better financially for us because we would have incentives from the builders and not have to put as much down. Anyway...all this to say...any house buying advice that you may have to offer would be great!!!

Last week we went to Wichita Falls for Michael's granddad's funeral. He passed away on Father's Day and was able to spend Father's Day in Heaven! He was a Godly man and passed down so much to his children and his children's children. I pray that I can impact generations for Christ the way He did. On our way to WF we were able to stop for lunch in Stephenville and spend some time with our dear friends Amy and Nick! I got to meet sweet baby Daniel who is adorable! Thanks for meeting up with us Coopers! We love you!

This week we are heading to St. Louis to go to a wedding. It will be nice to get away and get to know this family that Michael loves better. They are a family that he has known his entire life. Since he moved so much, there aren't many like that in his life...so this is really important to him. I am really excited about the trip.

I guess I can get this out in the open now. I have been off of "the pill" for like 9 months now and am not pregnant. I have a doctor's appt. on July 3rd to make sure everything is ok. Please pray for us in this adventure. We know that God's timing is perfect so we are holding on to that truth! We are anxious so pray that He will be our peace and that we will not be anxious, but be prayerful!

In a nutshell...that's what's cracken with us right now! We can't believe we have lived in San Antonio for 2 years! We look back and are in awe of the things God has done and is continuing to do here! We love it! We definitely have our moments of missing Lubbock and our lives there...but we have really great memories! It is fun living in a place that you feel you have been called to...and having a peace that this is right where we are supposed to be! Until next time...I will update after the wedding and post some pics!

It is for Freedom!

2008-06-08T21:40:00.000-07:00

Today I have thought a lot about freedom. Today my little brother left his wife, his 2 year old little boy and his 2 month old baby girl to go to Iraq for 13 months. That's right...13 months....it's a long time! He is a specialist in the United States Army and I am so proud of him. As I have thought about my brother going to do a job that most don't want to do...I have thought about how grateful I am that men and women are willing to sacrifice for my freedom that I have in the U.S. My brother and many others are soldiers who are fighting on behalf of an entire country's protection and freedom. He is sacrificing over a year with his wife and kids, they are sacrificing too....for me, for you, for this country. Wow. I am so proud that he is my brother. I am so humbled by his sacrifice. Freedom is costly. Freedom comes at a high price. There is a much greater battle going on. We are not helpless! We, as followers of Jesus, are called to go to battle for this world. We are called to get on our knees on behalf of those we know are in bondage. We are called to walk in the freedom that comes from our Hosanna! It is time...no matter what the cost...whatever the sacrifice.

"It is for freedom that Christ has set you free!" Galatians 5:1 Thank you Jesus for freedom. Thank you for paying the price so that we can experience true freedom in you. Thank you that we don't have to be burdened by a yoke of slavery anymore. Praise you that you gave the ultimate sacrifice so that we could live in freedom from the chains of sin and the darkness of death. Father, protect the men and women who sacrifice so much for our worldly freedom. Father, give us the courage to go to battle for others and to share of this freedom we have been given in You! I am so undeserving and unworthy. Thank you for grace and mercy! Thank you for Your Son.

Today I have thought a lot about FREEDOM!

Thanks little brother for what you are doing! I'm so proud of you and I love you so much! Thanks for helping me get back to the place where I am humbled and grateful for freedom!

Lately

2008-05-21T16:07:00.000-07:00

So, I haven't blogged lately. What else is new! This is harder than I thought it would be! Anyway, just to give you an update from my last post that was asking for prayer...my dad, who is an alcoholic, just lost his job. I'm not sure what he is going to do now. That is why I ask for prayer. Pray for him and that he will come to a place of brokenness before the Lord. Pray that he will be set free from these chains that are controlling everything in his life. Pray for strength for my mom, who is still deciding to stand by him. That's really all I can say about this...it has been going on so long. I think I might be getting numb and I honestly can't decide if that's a good thing or not. I'll keep you posted on that situation.

In spite of all that, we have had a really great May so far! Some highlights for us have been:

The Spurs playoff game with Megan and Ronnie! We had so much fun and Megan and I looked super cool with our binoculars!
We were able to go to Houston to see our niece play T-Ball! (and see the Astro's player Lance Berkman whose daughter is on Grace's team)
My brother and his wife welcomed their second baby. Claire Marie was born on May 10th.
We went to Killeen to meet Claire and say good-bye to my brother who deploys the beginning of June.
Signed up to run a marathon (Michael) and half-marathon (me) in November! We start our training program in June. This will be quite the challenge for me considering our first run resulted in two cars stopping on the shoulder of the road to bring water!...and one ended up taking us home! :)
We get to count down the days to summer and now it's in the single-digits! 9 more to go!

God is good, faithful, unchanging, full of grace, and brings so much joy to our lives every day!!

Please Pray

2008-05-10T09:29:00.001-07:00

Please pray for my mom...for more of that strength I was telling you she had! Pray for my dad. He needs some help. That's all I know to say right now....please pray! Thank you so much!

My Mom

2008-05-07T17:29:00.000-07:00

With Mother's Day coming up on Sunday I have been thinking alot lately about my mom. I am reminded of the woman she is and the woman she has helped me become...and the Lord continues to mold and shape both of us! I wanted to write a post about my mom so others can know this lady that I know so well. First of all, let me give you a little bit of history...that is a cool story of God's provision, healing power, faithfulness, and goodness. My mom and dad tried to have children for 7 years...yes I said 7 years! My mom was told that it would never happen for her. Can you imagine? Can you imagine trying for 7 years? She even tried 3 fertility drugs that did not work. After 7 years, the Lord gave my parents Alisha. Alisha is my sister who was adopted when she was 5 days old. What a precious gift to my mom and dad. When Alisha was 10 months old...SURPRISE!!! My mom was pregnant with me! Three years later...my brother. Apparently the doctors were wrong and God had different plans! :) After my brother was born my mom suffered from a severe stroke. She was in a coma and the doctors told my dad that if she lived she would be paralyzed or a vegetable. Again, the Lord had different plans for her! She survived! According to dad, she went through grueling physical therapy. She even had to relearn the alphabet! As a result of the stroke my mom has had seizures and in the summer of 2002 she had a major brain surgery that did not prove to be "successful." Not only has this all occurred in her life, but she was also diagnosed with colon cancer when I was in high school. This is totally gone today and yet another miracle for her and our family! All this history to just give you an idea of what my mom has been through. Through all of her personal medical struggles, she has had so much strength. Her faith in Jesus is so deep. I can remember walking in the room to see my mom engulfed in the Word. She would always remind me of His promises when I needed to hear them. I am amazed when I think back to those precious times.

After her brain surgery in 2002, which removed part of left temporal lobe, she has had a lot of difficulty interpreting what people say and giving a response to what they say. Her communication is very difficult and often times childlike. This has been a huge struggle in her life and ours. She is different. She is a different personality. She cannot carry on a "typical" mother-daughter conversation. I cherish memories I have with her before the surgery. Even though she is different and it's hard to talk with her, she remembers scripture! She loves Jesus. She still lives for Him and continues to pray with the words she can muster. She makes perfect sense to Him! She still reminds me to pray and reminds me that often times that's all we can do. She has stuck by a husband who is a recovering alcoholic. When things were the worst with my dad, she was there, ready to forgive and move on. She is a story of an overcomer, a story of strength, a story of a godly wife and mom, a story of the Lord's unchanging nature and His faithfulness. I love my mom. I look up to her and pray that I can have her faith. I pray that I can have her "childlike" faith that she expresses even now! I miss our long talks and I miss getting advice on life from my mom...but her example has been more than enough. She is my hero and I love her for who she was and who she is now. Tell your mom this mother's day how much she means to you!

To Cook or Not To Cook!

2008-04-08T15:12:00.001-07:00

I have to confess that this question is pretty daunting in my life! It is the great debate for this wife! Michael and I are eating out constantly. Not only is this not the best thing for our figures...it's not the greatest thing for our bank account either! ....or is it? I cannot figure out if spending tons of money on groceries or eating out is more cost efficient. I know you are thinking..."of course, groceries." Well, I have a husband who is veeerrrrryyyy picky! If it were up to him we'd eat cereal every night which seems so cheap...but I cannot eat cereal for dinner every night. I'm pretty much the opposite when it comes to food. I'll eat anything and I love variety! Anyway, I sat down last night with some cookbooks and recipe cards to make a shopping list of things I can cook in the next few weeks. My list was so long...I'm sure that trip to the store would probably be $200 or more! Geez...what is the answer to this dilemma? We are really busy and we don't do leftovers well. I'm really up for suggestions. I want to cook, not just for Michael and I, but I need to be able to cook when we have a family! Eating out for 2 may be ok, but when our family gets larger, this will be a very expensive habit. I am asking for HELP! If you have simple, fast recipes that you enjoy please share!!! If you have money saving tips for grocery store adventures...please share! Hopefully I will find an answer to my question: to cook or not to cook?!

Thanks to Megan...

2008-03-29T12:27:00.000-07:00

Here's a recent pic of Michael and I after I had about 4 or 5 inches cut off of my hair!

So at dinner last night Megan told me I should post because it's been a long time! I decided to take her advice! Life is good with the McCracken's! We enjoyed having spring break to rest. It's nice that both of us teach because we get the same holidays together! We slept in, relaxed, did a little (but not enough) cleaning out, and then we celebrated every night with our church family leading up to Easter Sunday. I definitely think all professionals should have a spring break like teachers do! I won't go so far to say that it's the reason I teach...but it sure makes the long hard days easier!

Here is a fun first grade story!...The week before spring break I was teaching my reading groups and we were reading a story about a little girl who wanted to read. She kept having to move rooms in the house because there was noise in each room. The story didn't say what the noise was so the kids had to infer from the pictures. She had to leave her room because her baby brother was screaming in the background, then the story shows her at the kitchen table. In the background, her dad is using a blender. I asked my reading group, "Why do you think she can't read in the kitchen?" Without skipping a beat, with great confidence, a little girl spoke up and said, "because her dad's making a margarita!" She later told us that margaritas are adult drinks that they drink when they are annoyed with their kids! :) Fun times teaching first grade!

Easter was wonderful. Our church met at a movie theater and we had between 75 and 80 people attend. One lady gave her life to Christ that day! It was a really fun celebration of our Savior who lives! What a sweet gift it is to have life in Him!

Sorry my thoughts have been random and jumbled, but I guess this is what happens when I have almost a months worth of "no blogging" in my mind! In case you are wondering....my puppy is behaving better with me now! ;) Until next time...it will not be as long!

Last post...

2008-03-09T14:44:00.000-07:00

As I was rereading my last post, I thought I should clarify one thing...I was not trying to in any way discount big ministries that have alot of people! I realized that my wording may have suggested this. It is really amazing that many ministries have tons and tons of people hungry to grow and to be discipled...and in many cases that is just what is happening! I was simply revealing my heart's poor condition of being too comfortable and proud in big ministries. God is using the small body of believers He has placed me in to teach me alot. We pray for growth and for Him to bring more people! Anyway, today was a great Sunday together with the body! I hope you all had a good one too! :)

To Sit at Your Feet...

2008-03-07T16:28:00.000-08:00

First of all, I'm sorry it's taken me so long to post again. I find myself intrigued by other people's blogs but never post my own! Things here are going well...one week until spring break...and that is GREAT NEWS! :) During spring break since it is the week before Easter, our church is holding what we are naming "Passion Week." We are doing something each night of the week to prepare for the celebration on Easter Sunday. We are really pumped because we haven't done anything like this before. For those of you that I haven't talked to in a while, let me fill you in a little on the ministry we are a part of here...

Michael and I were called to move to San Antonio and minister at The Church at Vineyard Hills. This is a church where his dad is the pastor. We meet in a school cafeteria and have about 30 people on a Sunday. We have "satellite groups" during the week for study and fellowship. This place is different than any church I've ever been a part of and honestly, it was a huge step of faith for me because I'm comfortable in churches where there are thousands of people...that's just it though....COMFORTABLE. Ever since we have been in San Antonio, the Lord has really opened my eyes and heart to reveal to me that I have spent my years as a follower of Christ being entirely too comfortable. In the past I have prided myself in being a part of big name ministries where there are a ton of people...wow...I'm revealing alot about my heart's condition here! The Lord has begun to really break down my pride and search my heart. He has revealed to me that it's not about numbers, but lives changed by the power of the gospel. He has called me out of my pride and out of my "everything is so great in my life" fakeness...to a humble, broken spirit. He has reminded me of the importance of discipleship and investing in the lives of others for His glory. I have come to a place in my walk where I am so hungry to just know Jesus more intimately. There is a song that I love that really speaks my heart right now and so I'll share the lyrics with you...

"The more I seek You, the more I find You."

The more I find You, the more I love You.

I want to sit at Your feet, drink from the cup in Your hand,

lay back against You and breathe, feel Your heartbeat.

This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand,

I melt in Your peace, it's overwhelming."

All of this to say, God is at work in a huge way in this heart and life. He is so good and I am so thankful for the grace that allows the process of sanctification in my life. He is at work in San Antonio and at work at the Church at Vineyard Hills. He is bringing people to know Himself and calling them into fellowship eternally with Himself. He is making disciples and using us, people, in spite of who we are. God is so good and His grace amazes me! I want to know Him more, I want to sit at His feet!

Life lessons from my puppy!?

2008-02-18T19:43:00.000-08:00

Today was a good day. Kids were out of school for President's Day and my principle let us just have a "work day." This means teachers get to work in their rooms...it was nice to have the time to prepare for the week. Anyway, it was a nice break from having the usual 19 inquisitive 6-7 year olds on a Monday! Michael had to go to work at his school and then after a full day of meetings he had to attend a Gifted and Talented training! (right up the coach's alley!) Anyway, following his GT meeting, he then went to meet with the other men leaders of our church to discuss some upcoming events. All of this to say...I was home alone with our almost one year old mini-beagle, Mattie. The interesting thing about Mattie is that when Michael is home she is a perfect angel of a dog. She lays around and chews on things and even will curl up in your lap and fall asleep. When Michael is not home....Mattie is INSANE!! She will not listen to me and she is so bad! She likes to get flip flops in her mouth and run around the apartment. She barks, she howls, she runs really fast...and I can't catch her. I am the passive parent who has not been stern enough with our dog...so now...she takes advantage of me! Will this be how my kids are with me? Do I need to be more stern with my dog and later with my kids? Am I really a total pushover? All of these questions because of a dog! It really makes me wonder what parenting one day will be like!

So for now, until I have kids to gush about and ask questions about...I will use my puppy! :) One of my spiritual gifts is mercy...Michael and I balance each other well...which is a cool thing about marriage...I guess I just wonder how God will mold me and shape me in the years to come so that I can be a merciful, loving, and effective parent...not a "pushover" who gets taken advantage of. Your thoughts are welcome!

Welcome...

2008-02-16T19:12:00.000-08:00

So, today I randomly decided to start blogging. I know, I know...I'm one of the last people on earth to get on this band wagon! So, here it is... the McCracken blog...I will try to keep you all posted on the exciting adventure of our lives! Welcome to it...until next time!