Saturday, December 26, 2009

A Christmas to Remember

Where do I ever begin with this post?

On December 2nd Michael and I went to our first appointment with a fertility specialist. We absolutely loved this Dr. and the entire office staff. They were so incredibly kind and supportive. We left the appointment that day with so much peace and with a plan. The plan was to come in on my 3rd day of my next cycle to get some more blood work done. Then, in January we would do our first cycle of Clomid and IUI. I was not on Clomid this cycle. We were excited, but nervous too about the upcoming decisions and procedures. During the appointment, the Dr. did an ultrasound to check my uterus and ovaries. I jokingly said, "there's not a baby in there is there?" She confirmed that in fact there was not a baby in my uterus. Even though we heard that I was not pregnant once again at that appointment, we still had an overwhelming amount of peace. It wasn't the typically reaction upon finding out that yet again, this was not the month. Just peace, that's the only way I can describe it.

So, we would wait...wait for my cycle to start so I could go in for my blood work and start our "plan" of action! So we waited....and waited....and waited....and nothing....a day late....a few days late....

When you suffer from infertility, this is a tough place to be because there have been months where I've had no period at all so this was nothing too abnormal. I had a strange feeling about this time though. I didn't test until I was about a week late because the hope that I may be pregnant is more fun than testing to find out that I'm not...

Friday after work I went to the store and bought a test...the digital kind that says the words, "not pregnant" or "pregnant" on them. I couldn't even wait until Michael was home from school. I tested when I got home from the store. At first I just couldn't look at it. Finally I looked and could not believe when I saw the word "PREGNANT." I immediately began trembling and crying and praising the Lord. I kept going back to look at the test to make sure the word "not" didn't show up later! I couldn't even wait until Michael walked in the door, I had to call him. Luckily he was on his way home! A few hours after he got home I tested again and had another positive test. We cried lots of tears of joy and just began praising the faithful God who we serve who hears our prayers. He is a God of miracles! We are so thankful for all of the people who have gone to battle for us in this long journey. We pray now for a healthy baby who will grow up to love Jesus! We pray that He will use our story to give hope and comfort to others and that He can use us to minister to those who go through infertility.

Our miracle baby McCracken will make his/her debut in August! We are so blessed! For this child we have prayed! Nothing is impossible with Him! Praise Jesus!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Hope and Rest

"My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken." Psalm 62:1-2

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him." Psalm 62:5

The word for hope used in the Old Testament was painting the picture of a shepherd tending his flocks looking for water. The word referred to a reservoir of water. A reservoir...more than enough water...not just a pond or a small lake....enough....more than enough!

The word for hope used in the New Testament means constant expectation for something good! "My hope comes from Him." He is my reservoir of water...more than enough. I will wait in constant expectation for something good. Oh, Jesus, thanks for reminding me of this truth about You.